Intimacy: Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the...

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 18:09 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 695

You deserved it 52 123

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Same thing different taste

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 633

You deserved it 41 590

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

By unknown - 13/12/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 380

You deserved it 3 129

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 1 278

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 300

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 477

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 064

You deserved it 16 430

By fuckbucket14 - 14/04/2012 22:56 - Egypt - Hurghada

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 939

You deserved it 12 134

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 210

You deserved it 37 102

mozeltov 7

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:03

why were you beating your pet ferret?

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 1:43

42- That comment was made so much better by the cat in your picture.

Comments

kay_joey 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 6:22

you're dad's cool man.

tiffanymarie14 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:58

so that's what we are calling it these days?

KingAdrock 16

Sunday 7 August 2011 4:44

YDI if there's only one bathroom in the house. Dad probably really had to go.

leahk1785 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:57

You ******* moron. That's animal abuse.

chemistrygirl 1

Monday 29 August 2011 16:16

Hahahhha spanking the ferret! Lmaoooo

summerguy97 16

Tuesday 8 November 2011 23:31

Ha! Spanking the ferret! I never heard that one!

sentryshooter777 4

Thursday 17 November 2011 5:53

lol bro to need to muzzle that ferret because it seems like it cries very loud when you spank it

KalieRanee 4

Wednesday 23 November 2011 23:08

I hope you mean your dick... The first time i read this i was super confused on why you would spank your pet ferret! Haha

TotallyMadSelene 6

Friday 2 December 2011 8:41

That's not what he meant.

Z3RO458 2

Tuesday 7 February 2012 11:34

Spanking the ferret? Lmao

Keywords

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The Top

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 200

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I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 158

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 37 964

You deserved it 3 290

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I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 86

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I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 3 998

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 935

You deserved it 8 886

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I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 66

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 943

You deserved it 4 147

Same thing different taste

A Caturday surprise

Fight ****

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