Miscellaneous: Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days.... - FML

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 252

You deserved it 9 329

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 644

You deserved it 6 638

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 1 072

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 540

You deserved it 32 580

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 172

You deserved it 3 348

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 42 348

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 729

By Noname - 11/02/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 343

You deserved it 5 498

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 138

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 569

You deserved it 4 979

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 427

Next

Top comments

your_face 15

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:32

It's pathetic that you need FB action to feel good about yourself.

tishytot 0

Friday 6 February 2009 19:54

My power has been out for over 2 weeks because of an ice storm. I have no new notifications on Facebook. I have nothing on Myspace. Nothing on Twitter, or any other website I use. **** your life? **** my life.

Comments

KevinB_fml 0

Monday 15 June 2009 19:25

log onto facebook more. Only people I talk to on facebook are the ones I know use it. My friends that get on once every couple weeks I dont bother facebooking.

LovelyCutiePie 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 6:44

Try commenting on OTHER people's stuff more often... you'll get more notifications that way. Because people will respond back to you..... hopefully.....

bigraws23 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 3:25

Calm down drama quen

super_bee6 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 23:32

What! It's because facebook is a new booty call these days? U must be damn ugly... Just playing, if u take it offensively...

Bloonbloon 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 6:14

I usally get notifcations from pandoras box, fortune teller, farmville, etc.

lizzlove 5

Saturday 26 December 2009 17:47

wooow dude you suck

koolitaliano 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 2:16

guess what? I went on facebook a few days ago to update it as I've not been on it since last year. most my friends deleted me. I had no noifications and only 5 friends left

lolly61191 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 9:23

uhh duhhh if you haven't been on in 9 days to post anything then no one is going to comment on anything so it was your own fault.

jhon316 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 19:37

lies all thoughs apps and such send notifications when your friends do stuf

reyemrein 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 22:18

^ this. YDI for placing so much importance in Facebook.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 702

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 114

Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 231

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 390

You deserved it 5 223

Today, my close friend messaged me, asking if she could still move in. I don't remember the conversation we had saying that she could move in in the first place. I live in a one bedroom apartment. I have no idea what to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 220

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 895

You deserved it 4 394

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 215

You deserved it 45 759