Love: Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's...

By Satan - 15/03/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 414

You deserved it 9 186

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By badwife - 07/11/2009 10:22 - Japan

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 392

You deserved it 17 367

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 873

You deserved it 10 532

By phonegotlostinthepark - 03/12/2013 17:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 204

You deserved it 4 169

By Anonymous - 19/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 5 399

By Jill - 15/06/2013 04:19 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 359

You deserved it 22 757

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 123

By Soontobeex - 15/09/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 589

You deserved it 4 678

By dumbass - 01/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 782

You deserved it 5 876

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 6 428

Friends like these

By veggocake - 26/09/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 808

You deserved it 63 453

shessocold 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:09

Uh, why did you have to go through the contact list? Don't you know your own cell number by heart?

behindthemask 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:04

haha

Comments

KaitHud 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:24

Hahaha! Ouch! That speaks volumes about your relationship... or lack there of...

gabbzke 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:26

Kinky

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:36

bahahaha

brownlace 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:44

rofl!!

sasonzal 4

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:46

probably fake,don't u remember ya number by heart?

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 11:48

If the OP is satan does she serve hot sammiches?

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 12:17

I've never understood how people don't know. I've seen people that are genuinely surprised to find out they are universally loathed. Odd.

joints99 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 12:47

hilarious! and I agree with popatia, your ******* face is annoying! How did you fit it in that box?

Jake1595 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 13:09

just laugh

MrC19 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 13:15

lmao ha ha

Keywords

Work Embarrassing Messy Miscellaneous Awkward Kids Christmas Family Annoying Health Holidays Relatable Haircut Hair Gifts Money Lonely Parents Cars Drunk Ironic Love Intimacy Sex I need your advice Social Media Technology Weird Am I overreacting? Break-ups

The Top

Today, it was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 167

You deserved it 4 703

Today, some idiot kid teased and taunted me for weeping on my "already bad performance", recording it on his phone threatening to put it on social media. I was singing and playing the guitar, in front of my childhood sweetheart, and supposedly soon-to-be wife's grave. It was our song. I do this every year on this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 108

The Top

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed, "Tell him 'Happy Birthday' from me!" and as I pressed send, I remembered her dad was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 413

You deserved it 46 722

Today, my long distance boyfriend left me for a local girl. My last relationship was also long distance and we were even engaged until he slept with someone in his hometown because his “horniness” was “becoming too much.” I think I get the hint now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 480

Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 203

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 771

You deserved it 2 184

Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 246

Today, I was laughing so hard at, of all things, a parody of a foul-mouthed Scottish Postman Pat on YouTube, that I shat myself a little bit at my in-laws' house. I’m now commando under my skirt, as I had to throw my shitty knickers into a doggy bag in my coat pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 1 083

Same thing different taste

A nickname that sticks

Memory man

Friends like these

Top comments

Comments