Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled... - FML

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 9 851

World Environment Day : Green and Vaudevilles
Stories where love for the planet meets situations that are as green as they are funny! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 012

You deserved it 3 082

Happy Valentine's Day

By henhouse - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brunswick East

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 3 835

True romantic

By Anonymous - 28/03/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 380

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 7 096

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 069

You deserved it 6 097

Lost in the sauce

By klsdhjla - 15/02/2010 01:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 376

You deserved it 5 632

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 900

You deserved it 6 159

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 420

You deserved it 4 270

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 38 349

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 5 365

Next

Top comments

IXChaosDragonXI 13

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:09

And that's why you make the bastard wait lol

raininginseattle 9

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:13

Ask him "why do all the guys yell that?"

Comments

gunnerblaster 21

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:18

The first time for anyone usually isn't as special as we'd hoped but your boyfriend definitely pulled a douche move by intentionally tossing in something to further devalue the moment.

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

Hahahaha awesome

darklink7117 7

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

Well, you chose him.

Marie314 17

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

At least you'll always remember it lol

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:24

Is it really a race to get laid first? Seriously....

FYsocks 11

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:24

That is the sound of immediate regret isn't it?

carelessxdanger 9

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:27

memorable. -___- at least it wasnt "have my babies!", as i was so lucky to experience :-/

Tiber_fml 12

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:27

should of yelled last time dick

mdcdeve 10

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:35

Congrats on who you gave your virginity to, fine choice.

KR12T3N 15

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:43

You should've yelled back "I'M SINGLE BITCHES"

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Kids Parents Sports Management Capitalism Work Love Weird First Dates Miscellaneous Relatable Coworkers Awkward Travel YouTube Videos Nice Guys Sexism Cleaning Argument Insurance Money Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee Health Fire Confused Healthy Lifestyle

The Top

Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 151

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 5 287

The Top

Today, I’m starting my 28th year with 28 cents on my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 12 785

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 259

You deserved it 3 341

Today, I showed up to a meeting without my pants and had to pretend it was part of my outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 1 009

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 804

You deserved it 130 508

Today, there was a huge storm. There were no buses, so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years, who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore, and it makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 329

You deserved it 3 909

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 267