Intimacy: Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 18:50

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 929

You deserved it 9 845

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Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 974

You deserved it 3 073

Happy Valentine's Day

By henhouse - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brunswick East

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 3 828

True romantic

By Anonymous - 28/03/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. During the act, he looked deep in to my eyes before whispering, "Up the arse next time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 200

You deserved it 374

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 7 087

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Spicy

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 089

Lost in the sauce

By klsdhjla - 15/02/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 5 625

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 874

You deserved it 6 151

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 401

You deserved it 4 267

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 320

You deserved it 38 283

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 5 362

Next

Top comments

IXChaosDragonXI 13

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:09

And that's why you make the bastard wait lol

raininginseattle 9

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:13

Ask him "why do all the guys yell that?"

Comments

gunnerblaster 21

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:18

The first time for anyone usually isn't as special as we'd hoped but your boyfriend definitely pulled a douche move by intentionally tossing in something to further devalue the moment.

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

Hahahaha awesome

darklink7117 7

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

Well, you chose him.

Marie314 17

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:21

At least you'll always remember it lol

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:24

Is it really a race to get laid first? Seriously....

FYsocks 11

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:24

That is the sound of immediate regret isn't it?

carelessxdanger 9

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:27

memorable. -___- at least it wasnt "have my babies!", as i was so lucky to experience :-/

Tiber_fml 12

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:27

should of yelled last time dick

mdcdeve 10

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:35

Congrats on who you gave your virginity to, fine choice.

KR12T3N 15

Sunday 15 December 2013 4:43

You should've yelled back "I'M SINGLE BITCHES"

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The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 718

You deserved it 6 189

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I agree, your life sucks 38 260

You deserved it 3 108

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I agree, your life sucks 12 486

You deserved it 3 906

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I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 6 088

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I agree, your life sucks 13 313

You deserved it 36 433

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 885