Work: Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't...

By fattymcbutterpants - 19/06/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 800

You deserved it 3 525

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 03:36 - United States

Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 681

You deserved it 9 732

Dog hater?

By Elizabeth Haygood - 13/05/2021 04:01

Today, I had a phone interview for a better position at work. I've been training my puppy recently not to bark. I put on dog-calming videos while she was in the kennel. During the interview, my neighbor's dog started barking and my dog immediately responded back. My boss ended the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 180

I quit!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I'm babysitting kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4 a.m. and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 978

You deserved it 2 241

By Lentil - 31/01/2012 13:13 - Australia

Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 330

You deserved it 3 946

By MumMatters - 09/09/2016 10:26 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 148

You deserved it 4 228

No dog for you

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 05:01 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked my landlord if I could get a dog. He said no, and gave me an illegal rent increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 133

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 681

You deserved it 55 062

Targeted

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 10:01 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, the neighbor's dog has been barking for over 5 hours. It is barking directly at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 99

Good boy

By hypocrites!! - 30/08/2023 10:00

Today, I was given an ultimatum; either get rid of my beloved dog who’s my literal only source of happiness, or find a new place to live (which I can’t afford). My asshole neighbors keep complaining about my sweet boy’s barking, meanwhile their bratty bastards are 10 times louder. It’s not fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 495

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 973

You deserved it 6 442

TheIllusion 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 12:18

Just be glad it was a blanket and NOT your leg.

EvilDoll 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 12:21

how did you decide that the best way to silence a dog was to let him hump something?

Comments

TacoDog 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 13:18

You might need a raise, but the dog probably already has one.

kaengle 5

Sunday 19 June 2011 15:05

haha, that's funny as hell!(:

7mood75 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 13:23

I love how people repeat the comments even though they were said....

womanjesus 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:39

Look at number 12's comment, hypocrit.

austinkiser 3

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:39

^^ ironic

7mood75 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 17:53

I was trying to be ironic.

missbreann 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 21:00

Not funny the second time...

DropDeadSerena 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 13:25

at least the dog is having a good time.

FelixGold 2

Sunday 19 June 2011 13:55

Bow chika woof woof

aardvarkish 15

Sunday 19 June 2011 23:01

not bad

Ins0mau 20

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:00

I love how people repeat the comments even though they were said...

Lisa89 3

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:36

Yes, I love how people repeat the comments even though they were said too.

austinkiser 3

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:41

wtf ur the third person to do that

ryanst 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:47

51- Huh, maybe they're all trying to be ironic? ..No, wait, that's just impossible.

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 19 June 2011 15:36

I believe 38 repeated 27 just to be funny. And I must say it was! Lol

I_Hate_Tpyos 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 6:48

hey, I have an idea! let's all say the same things then troll people for doing it!

SteelCladAngel 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:27

better than shooting the dog because it's cheaper than neutering it...

country_babe 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 14:30

it may be for dominancy but if the dog is fixed and had it's nuts for to long then it will violently hump anything really. either that or like previously said he needs a **** buddy.