By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 099
You deserved it 61 258
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Top comments

speshlk37 13

Alright, let's go ahead and get you right out of society. There we go.

267 4
Irishgypsy 2

Pack your toothbrush and say your good byes

194 3

Comments

perdix 29

I think prison is the right place for you. Good thing you'll be in the hoosegow before you can comment on my looks :D

64 5
unknown_user5566 26

Silly Perdix, no one would dare insult your looks. Only because you'd beat the living shit out of them, of course. ;)

22 14
Trisha_aus 15

Those Zumba lessons must be magical

8 2
unknown_user5566 26

Don't really consider myself a kiss ass. Perdix and I frequently reply to each other's comments as if we are friends. I find it amusing. And yes, the Zumba classes ARE magical. ;)

17 11
Irishgypsy 2

Are you taking perdix to see "Ted"? You have too if you wanna be his friend. Also you gotta pay.

11 3
perdix 29

#39, oh, no, kyleekay is special to me -- we can go Dutch!

6 5
Irishgypsy 2

Haha. Good answer. That's what I would have said too.

2 4
unknown_user5566 26

Ted? I suppose that'll do, but I was hoping to see Magic Mike instead. :(

3 3
perdix 29

#135, here's the deal: "Magic Mike," your treat; "That's My Boy," my treat; "Ted," Dutch. I hope you find my terms reasonable. I like to arm-wrestle for the popcorn, I'll let you choose the contest for the soda, and for the candy, a dance-off. This will certainly top our IKEA romp :D

7 4
PoseidonsSon 3

Why do I have a feeling perdix is always beige?

1 0
unknown_user5566 26

Sounds like you need to get your shit together. You seem to be a rude, inconsiderate a-hole and you seemingly only care about one thing: yourself. Grow up. YDI.

72 8
Keliosan 6

Don't be so hard on her. According to her username she listens to nicki minaj. Clearly she has some sort of brain damage or mental disorder.

17 4
unknown_user5566 26

126- Haha, good point. Not sure why I edited myself there. 127- What are you talking about? My maiden name starts with a "K", and as a play on my initial, I've used "kay" in its place for quite a long time. I like how your bio proclaims that you should not take shit from douchebags, when you are clearly a douchebag yourself. Now, please take your completely irrelevant, asshole (like that, 126?) comment and shove it up your smart ass. Thank you.

2 11
dominic1221 6

Uhhh... he was talking about the OP. Her name's "jillie minaj". Chill out.

12 0
unknown_user5566 26

Ah, damnit. I apologize, 127. I just realized you were referring to OP, and not me. I didn't notice the username until after I posted my retaliation. I thought you were referring to me by responding to 126's comment about my unusual editing. I thumbed myself down for that one. I feel like a complete ass, now. :(

13 2
Keliosan 6

It's cool. Misunderstandings happen I'll be fine.

6 1
lenluigi 6

I think reading the comments made more sence to me than the actual fml...

5 14
Shrike 23

You mean "sense", right? Right? Yeah, okay then.

15 1
iliketomoveit123 10

You're retarded.

10 11
3rdbass 9

Mentally handicapped people wouldn't do such things. What are you, twelve?

7 8
iliketomoveit123 10

Some would. Yeah, sure. I'm 12.

8 4
siriusjones 6

Wow....folk like you give worthless trash a bad name. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

7 2
ILuv_toaster182 5

Kiss freedom goodbye douche face:) ydi

22 0
SqueakyChipmunk 21

This sounds like something that would happen to Allen from Two and a Half Men. You know, before Charlie Sheen left and the show went to hell.

16 3
afropuffjake 9

If you didn't do it I could understand your lashing out butthat guy's the one to save your ass if there is any to save. If you did do it then I can understand your anger and that you're just trying to be a bigger asshole so it won't hurt so much when you go to prison.

1 1