Money: Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He...

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 497

You deserved it 3 387

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 4 252

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 438

You deserved it 65 649

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 347

You deserved it 14 501

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

The nerve of some people

By Inga44 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 101

You deserved it 3 775

No good deed…

By SCdriver - 16/07/2012 06:04 - United States - Lexington

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 234

You deserved it 36 245

Bad boys bad boys

By addie - 03/03/2013 08:27 - United States

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 241

You deserved it 3 076

By young and dumb - 27/08/2016 06:27 - United States - Trenton

Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 713

You deserved it 3 275

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 180

Nice husband you've got there…

By dididikaisik - 01/08/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 107

hatesfate 6

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..

missanderson813 4

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.

Comments

hatesfate 6

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..

thatgurltori 6

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:20

he's a keeper.

chowE_fml 4

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:28

Hope OP doesn't bail him out. He deserves some "vroom" to his butt

mjoyn98 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:46

If OP's husband had posted this incident as an FML there would be a lot more YDI..

itsame0987 18

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:34

My question is did op know he was this dumb when she married him? If so then she shouldn't be surprised. Op leave his butt in jail for a day or two so you can work on your "I am so disappointed in you" face.

alexup24 13

Thursday 24 May 2012 2:54

I wonder if he was in a prius

Meettitan 14

Thursday 24 May 2012 3:30

55- you mean like 69's pic?

winnerme123 8

Thursday 24 May 2012 4:18

Why does everyone hate the Prius ... Oh yeah I hate it too.

Boygenius50 8

Thursday 24 May 2012 4:51

Kia's are for straight men.

alexup24 13

Thursday 24 May 2012 5:11

"You were drag racing in a prius?" reply: "I don't win a lot..."

Sparks808 10

Thursday 24 May 2012 6:24

It's a quote from Horrible Bosses. Loved that part. And personally, I love my Prius.

taco_bender 12

Thursday 24 May 2012 6:41

"Its like a tampon on wheels". Other guys.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 24 May 2012 17:32

Then the drag race would have reached a maximum speed of 36mph.

TheDoctor10 28

Wednesday 17 July 2013 5:15

I don't win a lot.

stinkystu7 0

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Wow.

jewfroditmer 7

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:02

Thanks for that stinky, well done.

kickuwithmyfist 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:44

World Of Warcraft?

sarahlouise0506 10

Thursday 24 May 2012 8:13

Words of Wisdom? Clearly not.

free2speak 14

Thursday 24 May 2012 14:30

Worst of the worsts?

stinkystu7 0

Saturday 26 May 2012 16:59

6- your welcome

missanderson813 4

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 24 May 2012 3:34

Yeah and it is strong in this one.

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

This guy knows how to enjoy the finer things in life. Although, I wouldn't bail him out. He can learn from his very idiotic mistakes.

Axipiter 24

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:04

Double thumbs up. Fun as it sounds, there are just some things you CAN'T do without repercussions.

NoisyNykkii 10

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:58

With that level of idiocy, I think OPs husband is better off in jail indeed.

keepmeonthedl 7

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:01

Is it wrong that I think you should let him stay there for a night? Maybe that would scare some sense into him.

COOL__Coal 12

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:52

Yeah the scared straight program for adults.

Vegeto30294 19

Thursday 24 May 2012 5:23

Something tells me he won't be scared "straight" if he's in jail.

shadowcat13 0

Thursday 24 May 2012 6:12

Well this guy obviously isnt a pussy. So a few days in a county jail probably wouldn't do much.

airforce987 20

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:02

He might have thought he was a hobbit going past Isengard. "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm! It's the last thing they'll expect."

coldashell 23

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:51

I was thinking the same thing.

airforce987 20

Thursday 24 May 2012 8:08

If you couldn't tell, I was watching LOTR2 when I posted that lol

ChloeC926 9

Friday 25 May 2012 2:43

Lol nice! i luv LOTR

doglover569 0

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:02

You married him and his stupidity. Happiness to the both of you...

nofearjenshere 12

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:03

He deserves to be in jail for the night! I cant believe someone could be that dumb.

mmike13 2

Thursday 24 May 2012 2:45

There you go thumbed u up

ohmandapants 16

Thursday 24 May 2012 3:49

^ do you want a cookie? Just the thumb up would have sufficed. 10-Lots of people are that dumb unfortunately...somehow natural selection allowed it...