Miscellaneous: Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door...

By shitless88 - 20/08/2011 00:23 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 4 266

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Same thing different taste

By the_lameo_geek - 21/10/2013 02:16 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 047

You deserved it 4 048

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 05:50 - United States - Austin

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 803

You deserved it 3 913

Typical Ohia public bathroom

By Anonymous - 18/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 580

By random - 29/04/2013 21:11 - Canada

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 208

You deserved it 64 776

Not a people person

By Just me - 13/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 06:44

Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 1 441

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 915

You deserved it 6 020

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 190

satanic_fml 13

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:31

the ****??

skinthesnakes 6

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:33

should have been like i plead the 5th and sat there silent as he listens to your shit sounds.

Comments

RotaBoy27 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 15:31

Lemiwinks is the rodent used to shove into Mr. Slaves ass by Mr. Garrison. South Park reference is always cool.

619warrior281 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:45

"lemmiwinks". what an amazing word.

sparxva 12

Saturday 20 August 2011 19:04

You should have stood up and pissed on his pants. Make it look like he wet himself. That's what Jack Nicholson would do...

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:25

Yeah, I woulda pissed on 'im!

icic6772 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 21:27

South park gerbil

ryanbeast 7

Saturday 20 August 2011 21:59

******** your balls off? what is that supposed to mean? it seems like anymore every fml has unusual descriptions.

topazoo 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 23:54

Brave Brave Lemiwinks is on the road again, He must escape the gay man's ass or he shall soon be dead. - South Park

vietguy808 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 0:38

Would've kicked his ass after my shit

Blackxhawk 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 2:53

You were to embarrassed to report it but your fine letting us know?

The__Redneck 7

Sunday 21 August 2011 3:24

If someone bursts into the bathroom and starts screaming at you, then unless they are pointing a weapon in your face you are perfectly entitled to punch them in the nuts. Hard.