Miscellaneous: Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has...

By Bandking - 17/03/2014 21:48 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 5 483

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Same thing different taste

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 1 334

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 893

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 4 159

By Anonymous - 02/09/2011 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 872

You deserved it 20 249

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 891

You deserved it 28 910

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 3 856

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 9 444

By Anonymous - 27/08/2018 18:30 - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 3 236

Wet leg

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 442

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

wildcats909 9

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:08

If your city's parade and drinking celebrations were anything like mine - you definitely weren't the only one that pissed your pants

bjhhjh 20

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:02

Just blame it on being drunk! St patricks day eh!

Comments

LisaDay 14

Tuesday 18 March 2014 11:00

that sucks, ive had a horn player empty his spit valve on me during band class by accident. a lot of them usually spilled it on themselves. but hey, at least you were in a parade!

jazzy_123 20

Tuesday 18 March 2014 16:08

it was probably #24

TacoChewsday 10

Tuesday 18 March 2014 11:47

I know what you mean, OP. I am in the marching band, too. Even though I am a woodwind player, I see our brass almost constantly emptying spit valves. On the bright side, way to go on the parade!

fleckney26 25

Tuesday 18 March 2014 12:05

Before you open it, why don't you put the horn to the side? It's what I do...

rmsutton 20

Tuesday 18 March 2014 12:18

I bet you're a sousaphone. I play that in marching band and those spit valves are really inconveniently placed to where the only place to open them is down your front. I just felt lucky that my sousa was a little weird and the spit drained from the key valves so I just had a wet spot on my stomach after a long time of playing.

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 18 March 2014 12:36

no big deal, not like it was broadcast on TV, oh wait, it was.

inner_peace 19

Tuesday 18 March 2014 12:37

That's one big perk of being a woodwind (except for the bari sax, which I play). And my horrible experience with the bari's spit valve has me feeling sympathizing with you, OP. FYL!

Bandking 12

Monday 28 April 2014 5:26

It was a Bari sax too hahah

tbro47 23

Tuesday 18 March 2014 18:03

Think of it this way. Most of the people at that parade won't remember anything tomorrow anyway it's a lot like mardi gras in louisiana.

_itsannebee_ 4

Tuesday 18 March 2014 19:38

Lol haha that sucks I feel bad but say someone spilled something on you...

ArellaRoth 12

Tuesday 18 March 2014 21:48

What instrument do you play? That's the power of the woodwinds! XD Lol sorry about the placement of the spit valve, all my guy friends complain of the same thing (they're all brass players too) FYL by the way!