Miscellaneous: Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has...

By Bandking - 17/03/2014 21:48 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 5 483

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Same thing different taste

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 1 334

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 893

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 4 159

By Anonymous - 02/09/2011 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 872

You deserved it 20 249

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 891

You deserved it 28 910

By Anonymous - 12/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 3 856

By good-samaritan-fail - 06/10/2009 15:56 - Australia

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 162

You deserved it 9 444

By Anonymous - 27/08/2018 18:30 - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 3 236

Wet leg

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 442

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

wildcats909 9

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:08

If your city's parade and drinking celebrations were anything like mine - you definitely weren't the only one that pissed your pants

bjhhjh 20

Tuesday 18 March 2014 8:02

Just blame it on being drunk! St patricks day eh!

Comments

Abelmank 6

Thursday 20 March 2014 21:13

A couple months ago, my school's band and i had to take a pic for an ad and my baritone leaked an entire river on me. My band director thought it was so funny he didn't tell me. :l

PurpleDrankkx 7

Friday 21 March 2014 17:30

Was it the one in Chicago? Mello player, totally understand

cmitchell52 7

Friday 21 March 2014 19:45

Are you experienced enough to be playing in a marching band haha if you've practiced at least once you know exactly where the water will exit your instrument. ( 8th year playing trombone)

Bandking 12

Saturday 22 March 2014 1:47

Actually I've just picked up Bari sax just a few months ago, I normally play alto

idknicholle 14

Saturday 22 March 2014 7:35

clarinet my friend, is the only way my fellow band geek!

MemphisBelle45 9

Tuesday 25 March 2014 4:40

I have the same problem with my trumpet, sad part is, I play the solo at football games so everyone can see me and the stained pants

numitor 1

Sunday 25 May 2014 9:59

As a fellow horn player, I feel your pain brother.

RageWolf16 31

Sunday 26 July 2015 5:28

Okay how the **** have you been playing long enough to be marching in a parade but don't know where your spit valve empties? Did you not notice it during rehearsals?