Sex, Solitude and Intimacy: Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 869

You deserved it 17 846

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Same thing different taste

Brutally honest

By thisucks - 28/01/2010 13:59 - Canada

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 11 009

Gross

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 13:30

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 281

Missed the signs?

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 04:00

Today, my husband and I visited a new bar in our city. It turned out to be a swingers sex club. He asked if we could stay and try it out, even though we were easily the oldest people there by about 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 176

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 502

You deserved it 6 039

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 98

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 3 312

Cougar

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 21:46 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a cute new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 4 059

He gets around

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 103

This charming man

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 94

By bruh_im18 - 17/09/2016 16:18 - United States - Metairie

Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 2 609

A1V 5

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:26

Don't ever be that desperate... ew.

Azlia 0

Sunday 1 August 2010 9:34

it really doesn't sound that bad. anyone still picking up girls in a bar at 80 has got to have some fun and spunk in there.

Comments

itschrisssybro 8

Wednesday 10 August 2011 6:10

What has this world come to? Really, considering that? Wow.

iLahYou 7

Thursday 1 March 2012 10:48

No mames wey!

carmabeans 0

Thursday 17 May 2012 0:23

Hmmm, that says something about you..... Sorry dollface :/

ChicaChica5683 0

Monday 28 May 2012 6:46

Da ****

kaykayrose26 1

Thursday 31 May 2012 22:34

Wow that's pathetic and GROSS!!!

cynically 19

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:11

Seriously, try something else. Tinder? PoF? eHarmony? OKCupid? ;)

Talis99 26

Monday 10 August 2015 22:55

Goodness. I haven't gotten laid in 7 years, but I'm still not that desperate. Even if he wasn't 80.

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 787

You deserved it 22 726

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 050

You deserved it 32 711

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 344

You deserved it 9 837

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 841

You deserved it 566

Today, I discovered the guy I like will be working with me in PE for the school year. He’s straight. I’m awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 239

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 908

Today, I tripped and fell going up the stairs, not once, but twice at work as I was leading customers through our building. I actually got bruises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 282

Same thing different taste

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