Miscellaneous: Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole...

By thanksmom - 20/07/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 792

You deserved it 4 108

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Same thing different taste

Piggy banked

By Rain - 14/11/2016 11:43

Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 695

By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 3 110

By TriangularBanana - 06/05/2016 21:45 - United States - Cypress

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 086

You deserved it 1 593

By i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!! - 23/05/2017 00:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 987

You deserved it 348

By FranchezDeVista - 30/08/2015 18:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 106

You deserved it 2 265

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 2 069

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 4 681

TMI

By Disgusted - 05/07/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 022

You deserved it 3 797

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 053

You deserved it 2 719

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 765

chenoa_fml 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 8:57

be glad you weren't raised by her..

imaginaryvoice 18

Tuesday 20 July 2010 8:57

That's what my biological mother would do if she wasn't dead.

Comments

fyl12345678901 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:10

awwww prectious moments

ViciousLily 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 17:28

wow she obvisiously gave you up did you think she would be better than what you got with you adoptives

JokeMeister 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 18:07

You got off CHEAP!

DrKaosDK 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 1:12

Nice meeting :-)

Hidan44 0

Friday 23 July 2010 2:19

well look on the bright side... you made a lot of ppl happy :D

Hayate_fml 0

Friday 23 July 2010 7:30

sorry 2 hear that

davidanwinters 0

Friday 23 July 2010 22:31

#25 is super ugly :)

zach55 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 6:47

what a great mom! :D

fricknugget 3

Sunday 24 October 2010 7:11

wowzerz

Rainbowjumper0 12

Wednesday 11 May 2011 1:31

awh, mother-daughter bonding moment ..

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 81

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 339

You deserved it 34 846

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 322

You deserved it 2 497

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 333

You deserved it 24 664

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it, we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 797

You deserved it 53 626

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 189

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 155

You deserved it 38 818

Same thing different taste

Piggy banked

TMI

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