Holidays: Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security....

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 275

You deserved it 11 623

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Same thing different taste

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 572

You deserved it 49 770

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 2 792

By tal - 22/08/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 341

You deserved it 3 853

By search_me - 16/07/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 978

You deserved it 3 322

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 355

You deserved it 6 377

Never joke with TSA

By missy - 16/06/2011 02:42 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 023

You deserved it 10 113

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 366

You deserved it 4 832

Bodyscan

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 103

By muffintop - 11/07/2011 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 184

You deserved it 13 574

dino_witha_cape 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:01

yeah, if you bite into those things they could squirt someone's eye out

Jcsati8 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:05

If you pack baby carrots, will they think you are carrying ammo? Damn airport security!

Comments

noclevername 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:32

Ugh, American security. While I know I should care most about having to buy overpriced water on the other side of security, mostly I miss being able to knit on planes. Sure, i could stab someone with needles, but I could do as much damage with a pen.

xxjohnx5 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:32

haha when i was readinging it, i thought the small spherical things was anal beads. that wouldve been funnier but yea u shouldnt bring food on the plane for the same reasons everyone else said

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:38

I've had it with these motherfucking grapes on this motherfucking plane.

white_mouse 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:38

LOLLLLLL @36

bananamanama 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:39

HAHA WTF. Ohhh man. FYL.

McCannCanTriple 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:39

I'd hope they have some free food if they don't allow you to bring any at all. Nothing big really, but sonething like a muffin, or a cup of water. Likely though everything is over priced as shit. I don't even think the bags of peanuts are free.

awkwardness 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:41

roflmao @ #10, but the security wasn't so great either. Airport security are really paranoid, so it may be absurd, but you have to avoid these incidents anyhow.

JennyyBennyy 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:42

ahahaahha this is possibly the funniest FML i've ever read

bad_times 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:47

why is this an fml at all?

wearinsexypants 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:49

You're usually allowed to bring food, and they're changing the liquid restrictions soon anyway... But seriously, I've been stopped and searched by security several times and never missed a flight, even the times I was cutting it pretty close. My favorite time was when they searched my bag because of a chocolate Easter bunny. Not kidding, apparently the chocolate and foil showed up really weird on the xray. I totally look suspicious too, a blonde college girl... Anyway, either you have really bad luck or showed up too late. Oh well.