Miscellaneous: Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 17:17 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 7 228

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 1 410

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 1 267

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 300

You deserved it 7 209

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 089

You deserved it 29 884

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 349

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Broke boy

By LemonTree - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Hungary

Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 379

You deserved it 7 175

Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 365

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 879

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 916

You deserved it 5 293

Next

Top comments

swaglesshipster 23

Monday 19 January 2015 23:04

Band kid problems

darryaz 9

Monday 19 January 2015 22:56

At least your clarinet smells like cherries.

Comments

ArellaRoth 12

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:28

I totally understand this. I play clarinet too; played it for years. I still get them confused...

nickylovesband 4

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:31

did that one time but with my baritone

Britt125 16

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:36

I've done that before. I don't know what kind of weird cork grease you have though that smells like gym floor. Mine doesn't really have much of a scent to it, very slight that I can't place to anything else, just cork grease, definitely not gym floor though. It's not gross or anything, not a big deal to mix them up.

awkwardteddycat 6

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:44

I've done that so many times.

burnthistown 20

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:46

Easy enough to do

Isa_fml 20

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:48

I think this has happened to every clarinetist. I know it's happened to me.

LostInTheZone11 29

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:57

I played over 10 years and never had it happen to me. Maybe it was because my case had a special built in spot for my cork grease. Also I'm not a big chapstick user.

Ivy2P 10

Tuesday 20 January 2015 4:58

I've done that with my trumpet before XD

I'madumbass 19

Thursday 23 November 2017 17:02

Lol

dancer4497 2

Tuesday 20 January 2015 5:13

Haha I've so done that before!

Octosauce 8

Tuesday 20 January 2015 5:19

I would say I can relate but I'm a percussionist. Although since I'm planning on being a band director, I'll need to learn all of the woodwind and brass instruments eventually.

BandGeekJ 17

Tuesday 20 January 2015 5:27

The struggle of being a clarinet player

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Poopoo peepee Work Management Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Love Dating Mental health Anxiety Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 713

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 865

You deserved it 5 424

The Top

Today, my mom stole 18 grand from my disabled sister's trust fund to give to an online boyfriend. As a trustee, the government can go after me for what my mom did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 861

You deserved it 327

Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 185

You deserved it 436

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to close my legs and stop checking out her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 3 795

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 083

You deserved it 5 140

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 427

You deserved it 8 965

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 5 454