Love: Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still... - FML

By flowerging - 11/04/2013 04:53 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 498

You deserved it 16 269

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 303

You deserved it 4 390

By Anonymous - 09/02/2014 19:00 - United States - Lowell

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 661

You deserved it 5 432

By damn - 04/01/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 7 351

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 198

You deserved it 4 430

Suit yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 03:00 - Germany

Today, I offered my boyfriend medicine which is quite likely to help with his pollen allergy and other health problems, free of charge, and without side effects. I also pointed out an easy fix to keep the pollen out of his apartment. He said, “No thanks” to both, and just kept on complaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 145

By Azure_Mist - 27/01/2011 22:53 - United States

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 305

You deserved it 3 135

By Ella - 24/07/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 468

You deserved it 28 231

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 12 141

Get out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to break up with me again, and actually offered me gas money so that I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 2 010

Awkward

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 591

You deserved it 1 042

Next

Top comments

StephWALKER 17

Thursday 11 April 2013 11:53

Why on earth would you do that? You can't be that desperate honey, go get yourself a guy who treats you well.

xiaodoggiie 5

Thursday 11 April 2013 11:53

Why in the world do you have to pay him to do that!

Comments

fmaae82 12

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:27

That's just sad. You deserve better.

Helped 35

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:28

What a douchecanoe. You deserve better.

PerditaDessa 38

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:35

If the part of your relationship you see most fitting to complain about is the fact that he won't buy you flowers you should feel very lucky. It could easily be a hell of a lot worse.

perdix 29

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:53

You DON'T deserve better. With your crass, desperate move, you've ruined the whole flower-giving ritual for your boyfriend. We like seeing the look on your faces when we hand you a bouquet of pretty plants that are in a death spiral. Either remain in your hellish relationship or go it alone and try to build up some confidence and self-respect to be attractive to the next guy.

happylawyer 16

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:54

From where I am, giving money to a man to buy you anything is offensive to the man. Op just "told" him he doesn't know how to do something (please her) and that he cannot provide. Maybe, this could be a nice guy who will no be trying to buy your love or forgiveness with gifts.

slushyslime 7

Thursday 11 April 2013 13:58

Desperate much

abirdgotshot 13

Thursday 11 April 2013 14:22

Are you a bee, why do you want flowers so badly? Seek his love, not deflowers.

Ghosto 16

Thursday 11 April 2013 14:32

Hopefully he's waiting for the day you least expect it? As a cute surprise? :/

stitesy29 18

Thursday 11 April 2013 14:39

Dump te **** out of him

NurseJonathan 9

Thursday 11 April 2013 16:09

Not sure if taking a dump on him will get him to **** her... Although, people have the strangest fetishes.

spazz666 18

Thursday 11 April 2013 14:48

#4, it's a good thing you're a guy huh? Otherwise you'd look like an ass for making such a presumptuous statement.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 440

You deserved it 2 366

Today, while barbecuing, I noticed a small black baby spider crawling on my shirt. Then I felt another one crawling on the back of my neck. I still don't know if there were more than two baby spiders on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 111

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

Today, I spent all day cleaning the carpets in every room. I own two dogs and a cat, so deodorizing and deep cleaning the carpets is an all-day chore. At 9 p.m., after I was done with the last room, I went out to the living room and saw one of my dogs had been sick all over the place. Had to reclean the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 223

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 340

You deserved it 7 539

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 637

You deserved it 2 098