Intimacy: Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I...

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By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 408

You deserved it 38 357

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Same thing different taste

Five knuckle shuffle

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 06:00

Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 009

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 483

You deserved it 56 524

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 255

Team spirit

By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 7 562

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 571

You deserved it 7 486

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 490

You deserved it 19 831

By fired101 - 08/02/2010 06:04 - France

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 7 424

Stank face

By Tour guide for a day - 02/12/2023 04:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 589

By BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547

You deserved it 130 380

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 060

sonicmega 3

Thursday 29 October 2009 1:40

Well, that sucks. And blows. And swallows.

XaosZaleski 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 2:46

So...instead of plugging in your laptop last night, you decided to polish your knob off and head to bed? If you knew you needed your laptop for work, you should probably charge it the night before. ****. I hope stupidity isn't contagious.

Comments

thatdood13 1

Sunday 19 September 2010 11:01

swallow or its going in your eye!

Lizzi_fml 10

Thursday 18 November 2010 15:04

Was it also your last day?

fthku 13

Friday 31 December 2010 1:48

By slurping, spitting and gagging, are you talking about yourself?

julian24245 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 19:16

Way to break the ice

tsizzleisback 3

Thursday 6 September 2012 1:23

Haha that's ******* hilarious

pugslove14 2

Thursday 18 October 2012 3:01

What they do???

Spyingcheeseman 8

Monday 13 January 2014 21:06

Any time a computer, or laptop to be exact, turns off or dies... it should close all the Windows... right??

Door_Productions 19

Tuesday 27 May 2014 10:20

You don't charge your laptop when it does until it's needed?

Berber260 14

Tuesday 5 January 2016 0:54

So you got a raise... Last night if you know every I mean.

Noela Abney 5

Saturday 21 September 2019 16:46

some of these comments, you guys are retarded to think girls do that shit on the reg. If girls do it, its to accommodate your dumb not realistic porno fantasies. I hope you guys have actual HOT sex one day so you can tell the difference you little virgins