Intimacy: Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I...

By Moody - 28/10/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 38 346

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Same thing different taste

Five knuckle shuffle

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 06:00

Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 967

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 480

You deserved it 56 515

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 18:00

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 252

Team spirit

By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 05:00

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 7 545

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 553

You deserved it 7 484

By masterfail - 04/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 488

You deserved it 19 820

By fired101 - 08/02/2010 06:04 - France

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 425

You deserved it 7 420

Stank face

By Tour guide for a day - 02/12/2023 04:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 578

By BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 130 366

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 026

sonicmega 3

Thursday 29 October 2009 1:40

Well, that sucks. And blows. And swallows.

XaosZaleski 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 2:46

So...instead of plugging in your laptop last night, you decided to polish your knob off and head to bed? If you knew you needed your laptop for work, you should probably charge it the night before. ****. I hope stupidity isn't contagious.

Comments

twixbarlover 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 3:05

haha ive actually had this happen to me before...kinda. i wasnt in a meeting or anything. i was just shocked the next time i turned my laptop on...i dont think anyone was around and if they were, i got it closed out in time. YDI though for not accounting for the circumstances

andrew_bellati 11

Friday 10 May 2013 18:55

Nope, Not the same at all.

MuseFan288 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 3:38

Just don't watch **** man

Bloonbloon 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 4:50

yeah, don't

ladiesman14 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 4:57

oh mercyfml i love lesbian ****. i never knew what strap ons were for until i watched those movies. although i would not want one used on me.

fluorescentadole_fml 8

Sunday 10 April 2011 5:12

I do too! and I'm a straight girl ( more or less)

cperagui 18

Tuesday 10 July 2018 19:37

I thought I was the only straight girl that gets really turned on by lesbian ****

perdix 29

Thursday 29 October 2009 5:58

Did you "accidentally" discover your boss's trophy wife's early career choice? You suddenly got promoted to Vice President of Shut the **** Up and give a big raise and a company car.