Health: Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 059

You deserved it 36 592

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Same thing different taste

Grandpa's got game

By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I tried out the high-tech eliptical at my gym. The 70-year-old man next to me who was also using one went faster and longer than I did, and unlike me didn't stop for a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 185

You deserved it 1 302

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 688

Routine

By notsosexygirl - 21/02/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 075

You deserved it 68 636

Feel the burn

By Slowsky - 09/05/2012 10:19 - United States - Claremont

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Nice guys

By fatgirl4 - 20/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 178

You deserved it 6 644

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 778

You deserved it 35 273

By Lily - 09/10/2018 17:30

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 2 574

Fitness guru

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 16:41 - United States

Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 930

You deserved it 6 773

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 190

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 159

Next

Top comments

Snowboarder2010 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:19

YDI for being judgmental. There is a lot of older people that run and exercise to stay in shape and stay healthy.

cecilylove 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:09

Ouch. ;)

Comments

astriofou 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 11:59

dont underestimate saggy old men. unless he has a cane then you can show him up :3

rozieslothinator 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 19:14

well dont assume that he's less energetic than you just because he's old! maybe he's young and he just looks old! ydi!

chattysoul890 18

Wednesday 12 October 2011 4:44

go old man go!

hoggie6 1

Friday 3 February 2012 3:54

Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum... Mandelbaum!

missalice0306 19

Saturday 21 July 2012 7:29

Wow, judgmental much?

fristinkristin 16

Saturday 14 June 2014 12:00

Lol don't underestimate people

namine120409 42

Friday 29 August 2014 12:32

Never judge a book by its cover.

LOUNGE_LIZARD 13

Monday 1 September 2014 19:02

at least you are trying to get in shape

JOEBOBARNOLD 15

Friday 28 November 2014 10:43

Was it slade wilson?

TheBookWyrm 18

Sunday 4 January 2015 23:26

I read from a reliable source - an ex-marine trainer, actually - that running is one of the most inefficient ways to burn calories. Instead, focus on building up your muscles - arms and legs. Bigger muscles take more calories to work, so you'll even use more calories just by walking around. If you follow the workout (by Mark Lauren, just search around, there's an iPad app as well) you should see results within three weeks.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 88

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 707

You deserved it 8 786

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 7 665

Today, I was headed towards the unisex bathroom at physical therapy when another patient looked up at me and quickly looked away. I knew instantly and prepared for the smell, but I wasn't expecting remnants still floating in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 185

Today, my girlfriend of over a year told me the reason we've only been intimate once in the past 8 months is because she thinks she might be asexual. I love her, but I miss the intimacy we had when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 229

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 241

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 781

You deserved it 1 560