Kids: Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we...

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 452

You deserved it 4 492

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Same thing different taste

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 716

You deserved it 3 982

They all look the same to me

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 574

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 4 546

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

Call CPS

By lyss - 16/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Pottsville

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 380

You deserved it 49 890

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

By :,< - 17/09/2012 17:16 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 424

You deserved it 2 622

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 654

You deserved it 3 132

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 10 379

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 107

You deserved it 1 874

donutboy 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:17

"Wanna ride my mommy's new penis?" XD

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:11

Gotta love children's pronunciations. :o

Comments

mohit88 0

Friday 31 July 2009 18:40

Rofl

LondonKitsch 0

Friday 31 July 2009 18:49

If you're gonna fake a FML be creative about it. I've seen this fml twice once with the protitute confusion and once with the lesbian one. So **** you OP. YDI times 10.

kellster 2

Friday 31 July 2009 19:52

How the hell was that any of the babysitter's business, regardless? Whether it was a Prius or a penis you got, that's your business!

safirestar09 0

Friday 28 May 2010 9:55

There is more than one child out there who has mispronunced things. Goodness, like this is the first child in the universe to ever actually say something wrong.

El_Pwnzor 0

Friday 31 July 2009 20:52

These are SOOO repetative... Today, I picked up my kid, ____, from ______. I just (Got or did) _____, and told her. Apparently, she told everyone that her ___ (got a/was a) _____ That's how they all go!

ohyeah55 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 2:49

okay Nightfallz how does prius not sound like penis? I'm sorry you have a speech impetiment. SIK07GTSTANG, most toyota's are made in america now it's alright you can come back from wwII, it wont hurt. Plus have you considered that most american auto company's are going under right now and because of that your welfare check is less now. Way to be complete douche bags!

willothwisp 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 21:41

Actually the Prius is made in Japan, but other vehicles from Toyota are made in the US.

Kupokupupo 0

Monday 3 August 2009 11:06

hahaha... i actually lol-ed

knobby1 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 5:39

haha serves you right for getting a prius. You know that over the course of a lifetime, a porsche 911 turbo is more economical than a prius cos of the batteries and stuff? plus the new porsches only use 9.2l/100km, compared to about 6 or 7 from a prius

_musical_addict_ 0

Monday 28 December 2009 6:33

wow people it's just a car I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with hating on priuses. Or any car for that matter. I think it's kind of a little stupid but whatever...

deepdiver999 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 3:56

oh man that just makes you want to slap yourself because sometimes I just avoid saying some things around my 4 year old cousin because sometimes she doesn't hear the word right if you know what I mean