Intimacy: Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could...

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 307

You deserved it 5 911

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Same thing different taste

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 179

You deserved it 3 160

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 137

You deserved it 2 408

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 877

You deserved it 33 087

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 113

You deserved it 3 004

Keep it down

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 024

You deserved it 8 495

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 3 821

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 045

You deserved it 3 175

Nice place to live!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 054

You deserved it 3 413

Dude…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 034

You deserved it 912

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 564

56578 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:10

I think she said it to make you uncomfortable... Yeah, she may want to have a threesome, but the purpose of the comment was to tell you to not be so loud.... I must say though, if you were loud enough for her to hear you at night, without her hearing aids, you're either really pleasing your girlfriend or she's faking it in a big way. Hopefully, you're just really good in bed.

cucumberfabulous 7

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:03

That's uhhh.......kind of disturbing

Comments

ASpocksky 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 5:25

Does she still have teeth? How bizarre!!! haha.

jaybrown 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 5:40

You politely declined and you're saying FML?

omghappy 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 5:44

Well, think about, if she asked, the sex must have been good!

AXavierB 1

Thursday 13 August 2009 13:08

I think he's saying he regrets not taking her up on her offer. ;D

plexico 3

Sunday 9 August 2009 6:17

Who said anything about your girlfriend? She was recruiting you so she should ride your love muscle "reverse cowgirl style" while her husband teabags you. Old men have very droopy scrota.

oopsie_daisy8446 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 6:25

I think OP said they politely declied because if not, we all know what the comments would be asking! ;]

jewelzgalore 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 6:41

"I politely declined. FML." Dude, this is totally fixable. If you're experiencing regret over your decision just tell grandma you changed your mind. I'm sure she's more than willing to forgive you.