Keep it down

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Spicy
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 024
You deserved it 8 495
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Top comments

JasonUMN 15

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

389 1

Comments

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

honestly I wouldn't doubt it if the neighbor knew it was a human making the noises. ..that's just the kind way of saying keep it down. I mean if I heard my neighbors sex noises, I'd definitely blame it on their dog so they'd get the hint that I can hear strange noises and they need to make a change. its like the passive aggressive approuch to it.

95 2
wGx14 12

I don't think you know what passive aggressive means…

85 7
ShiiteDisturber 9

Sounds like your girlfriend isn't the only bitch on your street.

9 41
HKCgrimmjow 15

I get where that was going but you still failed horribly

12 2
rawr_monster_ 15

Try shutting all windows and doors, see if that helps

100 4
then000bster 16

They could live in an apartment complex with thin walls...

27 0
smokecloud_ 37

I got a $75 noise complaint when I lived in an apartment complex with ridiculously thin walls. For my sex noises. :x Also had the property manager bang on my door when I WAS genuinely being quiet. Glad to be out of there...

17 7
Lilxpie 18

#43 - On YouTube there's a guy who does something called "The thin wall challenge. " it's quite random.

5 2
DestroyerEndsU 6

who in the hell ***** with their windows and doors opened

1 0
JasonUMN 15

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

389 1
gracehi 31

Gentlemanly of you, I suppose... Though very unladylike of her.

12 89
TheLittleBear 19

What would you prefer? That she was just still and silent like a board?

36 1
REALAfroninga 11

All the girls I know are still and silent. I really should stop having sex in the cemetery.

64 7
parism143 28

It seems #70 doesn't comprehend controversial humour. Your comment made my day, #68

20 3
REALAfroninga 11

Haha thanks @ #76 :)

7 3
gracehi 31

76, I comprehended it. I just didn't appreciate it. *Different.*

6 18
REALAfroninga 11

Really the only thing different is they don't complain when I finish early.

13 1
gracehi 31

I can see how that would appeal to you.

2 12
REALAfroninga 11

Haha, please calm down. I'm not attacking you, I'm just here to give the gift of comedy! I'm sure the entire FML community doesn't share my morbid sense of humor.

7 3
silverstream20 20

Hey #84 um maybe just maybe could you please lighten up a bit and enjoy the humour?

6 1
shaww 28

She's an animal in bed.

156 3
annihil8or 15

she's a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets

36 6
VampOfSavannah 31

Wow 30, that's original. Did you come up with that on your own?

6 50
Clay_Pidgeon 11

#37. Your level of sarcasm is going off the charts right now. Dial it down a little, eh?

31 1
smokecloud_ 37

37, the two comments above the one you criticized were both "unoriginal" yet you choose to say something about the third. Tsk. :/

2 13
chosha_fml 26

It was the Egyptian gods that gad the dog heads. ;)

8 3
flashback_fml 14

If you two do it doggy style and put it on tape you'll have the funniest porno in existence

14 37
Madridsta1999 7

If I ever watch that porno, I would be really confused. Because I don't know if I'm turned on, or just going to laugh my ass off for the whole time.

43 1
perdix 29

You ought to get her to crap on his lawn -- just to keep the dog ruse going.

99 9