Intimacy: Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle;...

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By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 5 779

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Same thing different taste

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 266

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 778

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 505

You deserved it 767

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 2 731

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 6 913

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 843

You deserved it 3 913

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 650

You deserved it 4 406

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 6 963

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 470

You deserved it 22 531

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 604

You deserved it 8 903

gntfmlingnow 12

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:04

Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.

omfg_creepers 8

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:05

Nerdgasm?

Comments

the_shrink 2

Wednesday 30 May 2012 7:20

Classical conditioning at it's finest.

ChickInGreenVans 12

Wednesday 30 May 2012 15:45

This is just Classic!!**

sofiq 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 7:01

That sounds personal

FlameSama1 1

Thursday 31 May 2012 10:16

Guile's theme DOES go with everything.

IloveRec 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 8:06

Dear lord, what's wheel of fortune theme song do?

DaGrimRetard 8

Monday 4 June 2012 9:03

doo,doo,doo da-doo-doo-doo DAMNIT!

GAeroNKissR 26

Tuesday 28 July 2015 8:23

photo or it didn't happen...

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Health Embarrassing Introverts Mental health Miscellaneous Animals Cats Geek Awkward Work Politics Parents Weird Video games Teenagers Gamers Relatable Hair Love Poopoo peepee Intimacy Kids Sex I need your advice Anniversary Weather Cute Kittens Underwear Gross

The Top

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 709

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 863

You deserved it 1 740

The Top

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 879

You deserved it 2 936

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 042

You deserved it 4 976

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 390

You deserved it 3 982

Today, a man came into the library where I work with a bag. He told me the bag was full of bugs he found in and around his toilet, and demanded that I help identify them. He then added, "They might be parasites. They're all over the bathroom, but I got the toilet ones here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 139

You deserved it 304

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the 17 major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my boss's office, I heard her ask her assistant, "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 943

You deserved it 3 126

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 627

You deserved it 3 210