Intimacy: Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle;...

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 296

You deserved it 5 777

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Same thing different taste

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 266

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 766

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 480

You deserved it 764

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 436

You deserved it 2 729

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 6 908

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

MY EARS! MY EARS!

By ashbeat - 01/01/2013 15:20 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 642

You deserved it 4 402

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 959

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 22:26 - Russian Federation - Korol

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 465

You deserved it 22 524

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 594

You deserved it 8 897

gntfmlingnow 12

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:04

Don't be worried, Diablo III gives everyone boners.

omfg_creepers 8

Tuesday 29 May 2012 2:05

Nerdgasm?

Comments

jaredofmo 22

Tuesday 29 May 2012 3:43

Hello, ladies.

hornyunicorny 2

Tuesday 29 May 2012 3:45

Wow, you've masturbated so often while your roomie was playing that game that you've classically conditioned yourself to know that video game means you're gonna get some lovin! Psychology is fun!

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 May 2012 3:46

Are you a gay plumpa humpa and get a boner from any Mario game?

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Tuesday 29 May 2012 3:55

Everyone loves boners!

superswagbro 7

Tuesday 29 May 2012 4:24

That wood be gross.

phatdaddy62 23

Tuesday 29 May 2012 6:42

Haven't heard from Bonerz in ages.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Tuesday 29 May 2012 8:42

I know. Glad someone remembers. I thought he was a hallucination of mine (sheds a tear for Boners)

uumlaut_strohson 3

Tuesday 29 May 2012 3:56

do you also find the urge to release the hounds while disecting frogs!

fader48080 10

Tuesday 29 May 2012 4:29

it's cool man. when I started masturbating I did it in the tub to music playing so people wouldn't hear the splashing. The Cardigans song "Lovefoot" was on the radio all the time and while I don't get hard (all the time) I am usually ready to go by the end of the song.