Miscellaneous: Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is...

By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 780

You deserved it 6 991

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By maarkblack - 22/05/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 10 836

By WhoopteeDooDoo - 12/10/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 308

You deserved it 4 975

By Damn_her - 05/03/2009 00:04 - Canada

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 344

You deserved it 8 781

By ChevRooon - 27/01/2012 04:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 165

You deserved it 39 032

By casey - 25/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 894

You deserved it 26 457

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 5 087

By izziegrl - 24/09/2012 18:21 - Mexico - Naucalpan

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 426

You deserved it 3 626

By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 805

You deserved it 22 647

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 709

You deserved it 1 652

Another fine mess

By MikeMoosey - 30/12/2008 18:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 25 444

JandTaco 13

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:50

But didn't it feel great?

Zelphoric 25

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:50

Whoa buddy, calm down :p

Comments

Kevlar_burrito 6

Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:41

It's the small things in life...

bobo_the_bear 5

Wednesday 9 April 2014 15:49

Good thing the gas wasn't 11 cents cheaper because you might have needed a change of pants.

doumtabarnack 12

Wednesday 9 April 2014 17:42

That's called auto-erotic asphyxia

cosmicriver 17

Wednesday 9 April 2014 18:27

With the gas prices being so high these days, that does not surprise me. In fact, I would probably have the same reaction, minus the erection, of course. That would be odd, seeing as I am a girl.