Intimacy: Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish... - FML

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By RyanM - 13/02/2011 09:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 989

You deserved it 64 723

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Same thing different taste

Keep fit!

By anonymous - 13/04/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 1 684

By Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 069

You deserved it 18 041

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 355

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 817

You deserved it 54 649

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 251

Wanking to death

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Spicy

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 759

You deserved it 12 432

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went running for the first time in a few months. I had what I thought was an asthma attack. When I got home, I realized that it was not asthma, but instead I have gained so much weight that my running bra restricted my breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 31 331

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 293

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 127

You deserved it 35 892

Next

Top comments

DJR_fml 2

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:22

did you know 5 out of 5 guys. **********.. :O

Raddaya 3

Sunday 13 February 2011 16:26

Sir, this is the funniest FML I have ever seen. Thank you for making my day. As a reward, I bless you that you will succesfully **********.

Comments

4evermossin 0

Friday 25 February 2011 22:16

well masturbating gets your heart rate up which is actually good for you plus it can prevent prostate cancer soo keep jerkin.... hope op is a boy lol

Bloodstarr 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:09

That's why you get someone to help you finish ;)

juicycouture12 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 5:10

fatty

ElZamo 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 17:09



jayymoney 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 3:38

aww sorry ): lol

shitwit2234 0

Monday 18 July 2011 8:05

I sometimes have to switch arms for a while because my arm gets tired

ryanisexy 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 14:17

Disgrace to the ryans

cholobear21 6

Tuesday 3 April 2012 16:42

You fat **** !

PhishloverA 14

Wednesday 26 September 2012 5:12

It's normal. If you jack it hard you can get kinda tired. I bet you wish a girl was there to take over for you while you caught your breath. I know I'd love it

Abfootball 1

Thursday 11 October 2012 4:28

That's pathetic

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 6 595

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I agree, your life sucks 47 841

You deserved it 4 672

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I agree, your life sucks 44 222

You deserved it 4 242

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 241

You deserved it 5 553

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I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 947

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 549

You deserved it 3 389