By DoomsDay - 06/05/2016 14:23
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You are a jerk if you don't tell her and go through with it.
He's marrying the girl FOR her, how is that selfish?
I think it's because he's putting his image (as a "good guy") first. A loveless marriage will cause them both much more harm in the long run, not to mention the effect on potential kids. Plus he is actively lying to this girl. If he goes through with this, he is condemning this girl to wasting years on a marriage based on lies and obligation rather than actual love, which will probably end (and much more painfully). If he was really putting her best interests first, he'd tell her. I don't think he's the worst person for having difficulty...in fact most would. But I do think this stems from a sense of selfishness (preserving his image) and cowardliness (afraid to disappoint people) than a sense of caring for her TRUE well-being. Ironically, in trying to make others happy and not seem like a monster, this choice would actually guarantee both on the long-run.
Divorce costs a crap ton of money.
that really is the smallest problem here...
Well. That can't be good.
But you aren't, because she deserves someone who loves her fully, as do you. Unless you feel couples counselling could help, you should end it. Short-term it'll hurt, but long-term she can find someone who loves her and you can find someone you love. The longer you draw this out, the worse it will be.
You need to end it and get out the relationship. It's not good or healthy for you to do things that make others happy, and to deny yourself. Also, you're hurting your partner greatly by not doing things out of love. By staying with each other, you're preventing each other from finding people you truly love, and who love you back. Marriage involves love, else it doesn't really work. I know you say you've only got two weeks, but that doesn't matter. If you don't love each other, it won't change in that period of time. You don't have to be harsh to her or nasty - just be honest. You don't necessarily have to end everything either - you could just be friends if that will work for you both. You both deserve chances of happiness. Good luck!
You're only gonna be ruining both your lives. Be honest before you make it official.
On a second note don't waste your youth on the wrong person.
You sound far too immature to be getting married. Call it off for everyone's sake.
Do you think it could be pre-wedding jitters? A lot of people rethink getting married, especially this close to the date. Maybe take a full day of soul searching before you make a concrete decision, there will be no going back. If you have indeed fallen out of love with her, then you must tell her and leave. It will be painful at first, but long term beneficial to her feelings, your feelings and both of your pockets.
That's messed up, OP. You get that, right? You should never marry for guilt. I'm sorry but I have no sympathy for you. Man up.
Agreed. OP, if you marry her, you'll be stealing away some precious years of life from this woman, that she could've spent with someone who truly loved and appreciated her, or even single (which is better than being in a one-sided relationship). That's just selfish and cowardly from you.
Get out of there right now. You'll hate yourself if you go through with the wedding and then get a divorce. You can avoid the mental, physical, and financial pain of a divorce
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You'll hurt her greatly if you don't marry her. But you'll hurt both of you so much more if you marry her without loving her. Better to endure a great pain for a while than live years in a lie.
Don't get married, then. When she finds out she would have wished not to get married to you.