Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix... - FML

By parishiltonsbff - 04/02/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 486

You deserved it 40 655

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By nerd - 19/11/2016 19:52

Today, I understand the finer points of the government in Star Wars better than I understand the U.S. government. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 028

You deserved it 2 612

Culture war bullshit

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 06:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 210

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a political debate, and now I'm more confused than when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 257

Lonesome

By AwesomePGnarles - 13/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 705

You deserved it 44 496

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 3 882

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 11:45 - United States - Monroe

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 2 728

Smile politely and keep cool

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, yet again, despite the fact that I don't know anything about politics, I got roped into a political discussion with my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 286

By bellsucker - 04/08/2012 22:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 1 971

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 094

By quiet_screaming_ - 01/07/2015 02:21 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 098

You deserved it 8 821

Next

Top comments

Humanoid_fml 0

Monday 8 June 2009 21:30

What is there to know about someone's cervix?

laleona 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:31

wow that's incredibly pathetic. but at least you're aware of it now.. and can change...

Comments

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 7:05

na she's a Malabo *****

mclovinyourmom69 0

Monday 15 November 2010 7:02

21 is a fag. and it doesn't matter who is president because everyone knows that the government is really controlled by the man. and the man only wants to kill us truth seekers and rebels

jckbco 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 15:54

very sad - very true

noahmcdonald17 0

Friday 4 February 2011 22:39

haha spell our president's name right you ******* retard!! B-A-R-A-C-K hahaha FYL. I don't argue with retards though. So yeah... have fun helping the world hate us be electing another ignorant white man. Our most articulated and intelligent is black.. how ironic. Conservatives are so scared of us negroes it's not even offensive. Just amusing

mrjamjama66 5

Thursday 10 February 2011 4:16

that's actually normal. not many people know what's going on in government. but this doesn't mean you should feel any less ashamed.

cas85 1

Thursday 10 February 2011 8:32

And people wonder why socoety is declining...

mfluffy14 3

Tuesday 31 May 2011 3:27

?

HPfanatic2011 0

Monday 25 July 2011 3:25

Don't we all

crazgirl00 2

Wednesday 10 August 2011 0:20

Dumbass.

nood_fml 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 0:37

That's today's media for you buddy.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 60

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 094

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, I tried to get my license. To get that, I needed to show proof of school enrollment. I graduated early, so they told me to get a copy of my diploma. I went to school, and they told me that I would need a valid driver's license to access my diploma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 152

You deserved it 3 103

Today, I found out that a supervisor at work was rude to two brides, resulting in 30k being refunded. Instead of her losing her job, I now have to take over weddings on top of my already full workload. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 150

Today, I was chewed out and blocked by several of my “friends” because I never post anything political, and am therefore right wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 120

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 040

You deserved it 8 620

Today, I walked out the bathroom and saw my girlfriend peeing in a mug. She said that's the mug she uses when she can't hold it anymore. That's the mug I put my coffee in every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 205

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 995

You deserved it 2 539