Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix...

By parishiltonsbff - 04/02/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 486

You deserved it 40 655

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nerd - 19/11/2016 19:52

Today, I understand the finer points of the government in Star Wars better than I understand the U.S. government. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 028

You deserved it 2 612

Culture war bullshit

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 06:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 210

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a political debate, and now I'm more confused than when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 257

Lonesome

By AwesomePGnarles - 13/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 705

You deserved it 44 496

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 3 882

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 11:45 - United States - Monroe

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 2 728

Smile politely and keep cool

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, yet again, despite the fact that I don't know anything about politics, I got roped into a political discussion with my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 286

By bellsucker - 04/08/2012 22:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 1 971

Dunning-Kruger effect

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to impress my boss with my knowledge of a subject and ended up sounding like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 094

By quiet_screaming_ - 01/07/2015 02:21 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 098

You deserved it 8 821

Humanoid_fml 0

Monday 8 June 2009 21:30

What is there to know about someone's cervix?

laleona 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:31

wow that's incredibly pathetic. but at least you're aware of it now.. and can change...

Comments

greentiger 5

Wednesday 5 October 2011 5:07

Yea :/ I think everyone nowadays is like that

Q9 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 14:38

Ummmm........ Okay?!

22cute 17

Sunday 23 October 2011 5:10

I know nothing about Paris Hiltons cervix. And I'm proud to keep it that way.

JDawg113 0

Friday 22 June 2012 10:43

What the actual ****?

evebright 5

Sunday 23 December 2012 17:10

**** ALL our lives, the media reports celebrity crap to cover up what's really going on.

alphatoomega 21

Monday 24 December 2012 17:07

I voted

xxEternalRain 13

Wednesday 16 January 2013 5:27

No life much?

needsagf14 12

Sunday 7 April 2013 23:55

Government 101: the "king" is called President. The more you know

droptableusers 7

Tuesday 23 April 2013 17:25

I hope you die of cervix cancer.

AmyRisa 5

Wednesday 5 March 2014 22:14

Could be worse.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because he was "furloughed from COVID" like he said was. Oh, and he got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 137

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 390

You deserved it 5 341

Today, my ex of three years wanted me to comfort him because his new girlfriend broke up with him as well. And what do I do? I help him, I don’t fucking know why, and now he won’t leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 1 212

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 968

You deserved it 13 222

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 018

You deserved it 3 888

Today, my brother decided he could just live with me. He's sharing my bed, using all my stuff, and has even refused to let me into my room in the morning to get ready. He thinks the situation is perfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 879

You deserved it 2 652