Love: Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest...

By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 869

You deserved it 4 684

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Same thing different taste

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 2 418

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 157

You deserved it 3 312

By noosher0990 - 18/02/2010 00:30

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 951

You deserved it 2 772

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 314

You deserved it 5 911

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 3 562

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 125

The neighbor from Hell

By Creeped - 27/09/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 1 815

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 111

Forever alone, forever

By AloneAtPerkins - 14/06/2020 05:04

Today, I realized that I've only had 3 men show interest in me: A blind man, a drunk, and a guy so desperate, he's been trying for over 5 years of solid "No"s. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 302

You deserved it 376

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 6 641

cakefete2 30

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

Not so much huge as long.

SamSwebb 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Better than no-one ... I guess :)

Comments

babygurll19 10

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:24

That just means you're very mature for your age :)

ifunny_man 2

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:27

Hey all I have is my imaginary friend bob. I haven't quite unlocked females yet

mpkpm 19

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:28

Ask her out??

JD1147 27

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:29

Yes Man was on tv here last night. Same issue in part of that movie. You're not Carl Allen, are you?

Shopduster 9

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:36

That's no cougar.. That's a leopard! ( Cause of the liver spots)

callmefireman 7

Wednesday 16 April 2014 10:32

Nice

phatdaddy62 23

Thursday 17 April 2014 9:10

Not really.

blancoing 14

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:38

you into cougars? lol

chocolatefrog28 29

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

You've never had a hummer until you've gotten one from a gummer. Could be fun.

thomcmoore 23

Wednesday 16 April 2014 4:20

Did you just...?

Not_Impressed13 9

Wednesday 16 April 2014 18:22

Yes. She did.

illegalbeagle69 23

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:45

Hit it and tell your friends you hooked up with a mature and very very experienced woman haha.. or go talk to some girls your own age!

That_Ginger 18

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:09

You live in Canada.. it's spelled 'neighbour'. Tsk tsk fellow Canuck.

ruxtain 15

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:14

Ewww How did you find out anyway?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, I woke up sick from crying all night because I got dumped by a dude who couldn't stand my tone of voice, which I can’t completely control because of my Asperger's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 184

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 049

You deserved it 8 494

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 800

Today, I reluctantly went to a family get together. My nosy aunt decided to try to lecture me on why I should spank my kids. That’s great coming from a woman who was a teen mom, had kids with 3 different guys, and now has grown kids that hate her guts. Yeah I truly need lessons on how to be a mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 108

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 281

Today, I told my parents that I was planning a garden for my house. My child of a mother got upset and jealous, because, "When you were younger, you hated working outside with us." Sorry for maturing and developing new interests in the past 30 years, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 104

Same thing different taste

Bizarre love square

The neighbor from Hell

TMI

Forever alone, forever

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