Love: Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest...

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By gerontofuck - 15/04/2014 21:55 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 876

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 378

You deserved it 2 419

By Eimii - 06/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 168

You deserved it 3 312

By noosher0990 - 18/02/2010 00:30

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 957

You deserved it 2 774

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 323

You deserved it 5 911

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 3 563

Bizarre love square

By Lucky - 18/09/2023 10:00

Today, after almost 20 years of celibacy, a beautiful young woman surprisingly took interest in me, and we get along great. My close female friend, who I did once have feelings for, but who always made it clear she'd never see me "in that way" is having a full-blown emotional breakdown. Well, according to her husband anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 128

The neighbor from Hell

By Creeped - 27/09/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 864

You deserved it 1 817

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 114

Forever alone, forever

By AloneAtPerkins - 14/06/2020 05:04

Today, I realized that I've only had 3 men show interest in me: A blind man, a drunk, and a guy so desperate, he's been trying for over 5 years of solid "No"s. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 379

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 790

You deserved it 6 644

cakefete2 30

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

Not so much huge as long.

SamSwebb 24

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:15

Better than no-one ... I guess :)

Comments

babygurll19 10

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:24

That just means you're very mature for your age :)

ifunny_man 2

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:27

Hey all I have is my imaginary friend bob. I haven't quite unlocked females yet

mpkpm 19

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:28

Ask her out??

JD1147 27

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:29

Yes Man was on tv here last night. Same issue in part of that movie. You're not Carl Allen, are you?

Shopduster 9

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:36

That's no cougar.. That's a leopard! ( Cause of the liver spots)

callmefireman 7

Wednesday 16 April 2014 10:32

Nice

phatdaddy62 23

Thursday 17 April 2014 9:10

Not really.

blancoing 14

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:38

you into cougars? lol

chocolatefrog28 29

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:40

You've never had a hummer until you've gotten one from a gummer. Could be fun.

thomcmoore 23

Wednesday 16 April 2014 4:20

Did you just...?

Not_Impressed13 9

Wednesday 16 April 2014 18:22

Yes. She did.

illegalbeagle69 23

Wednesday 16 April 2014 2:45

Hit it and tell your friends you hooked up with a mature and very very experienced woman haha.. or go talk to some girls your own age!

That_Ginger 18

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:09

You live in Canada.. it's spelled 'neighbour'. Tsk tsk fellow Canuck.

ruxtain 15

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:14

Ewww How did you find out anyway?

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Love Awkward Embarrassing Exhausted Work Job interview Animals Scary Cats Argument Romantic Miscellaneous Family Annoying Gross Weird Food Shopping Clothes Technology Games Party Intimacy Sex Disney Kids Cute Empathy Bullying Ironic

The Top

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 397

You deserved it 6 465

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 655

You deserved it 20 689

The Top

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 435

You deserved it 53 640

Today, I looked up 8 videos, questioned my entire existence, actually hurt myself, and cried profusely trying to open a bottle of wine. Just in case anyone thought I was smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 367

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 367

You deserved it 1 662

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 675

You deserved it 8 737

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 429

You deserved it 1 589

Today, I was late for work and sprinted to catch the elevator. I made it just in time, only to realize I was in the elevator alone and had just dramatically dived into it for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 307

Same thing different taste

Bizarre love square

The neighbor from Hell

TMI

Forever alone, forever

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