Work: Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico....

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 5 807

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 382

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 565

You deserved it 11 248

By crap - 02/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 026

You deserved it 5 406

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 380

You deserved it 2 933

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 908

You deserved it 2 962

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 148

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 232

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 281

dani22097 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:36

lemme guess... you drank their water

VivaLaCobra22 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:33

no more burritos for you!

Comments

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:42

So are you going to plan a couple stops or try the pepto bismol and race it home strategy?

GabbanaGirl 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:42

shit that sucks. get it? shit??? haha

unidentified_sta 5

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:49

Yes... The high volume of shitty puns makes spotting them a chore as easy as typing them.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:57

These are the times when I wish I were a moderator so I could delete the filth above this comment and ban Gabbanagirl. Instead, I'll just wait for some polite mod to erase it, and I'll have to be satisfied telling Gabbanagirl to shut the **** up. Oh, and when you have to explain your joke and then laugh at it yourself, chances are it isn't funny. Idiot.

aardvarkish 16

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:59

huuuuuh... you said "spotting"! huh huh...

KingDingALing 9

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:06

Did that cracker really call him an African-American citizen? The world is coming to an end.

Sirin_fml 46

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:14

Yeah, that was a really shitty choice of words, wasn't it? Etc. etc. etc.

unidentified_sta 5

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:16

Indeed, comments end up being so shitty sometimes. Trying to moderate them must feel like a shit job sometimes.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:56

Sirin, I'm a little disappointed it took you so long to mod that comment. I hope you shoved the banhammer far enough up her ass that she could chew on it.

zp5 4

Thursday 6 January 2011 1:36

I'm dying to know what she said. You know, so I can say what I think of her and her comment.

unidentified_sta 5

Thursday 6 January 2011 1:44

Called me a bunch of random unintelligible stuff.

zp5 4

Thursday 6 January 2011 2:35

**** you, GabbanaGirl.

Sparx1_1 16

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:43

By the time you're ready to go home you'll be emptied out and done for the day so don't worry too much about it. What you do need to worry about is seeing a doctor to make sure that you didn't pick up something really nasty.

DaveOnDope 4

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:48

Ummmm. buttplug? near any **** shops?

therealshotyme 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:50

did Dave mathews teach u nothing? dont drink the water, and dont be a douche

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:54

That's why when you're sick you stay home so you don't infect your co-workers or become so unproductive at work that you're actually slowing everyone else down.

I_like_chicken 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 13:52

Is your name referring to 'the Matrix'

perdix 29

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:06

I'm pretty good at math, so I predict that you are going to shit yourself at least twice on your commute home. Is your car going to permanently smell of shit? Depends. That's right. Find some adult diapers, pronto, amigo!

sylphy 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 10:03

i laughed a lot ******* harder at that than I should have.

sandiiiiiii 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:13

Drink some pepto bismol! Lol

truthbetoldxoxo 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 16:37

yay pepto bismol!!

PincheLeti 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:22

Theres a reason why they say dont drink the water there. An now you know :D

InBetweenDreams 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 23:31

Mexico. It's a really nice place, but they tell you not to drink the water for a reason. And that reason is Ecoli. Hopefully you're a little bit better by the time you go home. :)