Health, Poopoo peepee and Weather: Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got...

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 317

You deserved it 12 996

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Same thing different taste

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 224

Soaking

By Dumbass - 19/11/2022 06:00

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 142

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 188

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 654

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 568

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 395

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 891

You deserved it 28 911

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 186

By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 330

You deserved it 26 736

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 28 October 2011 15:50

Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!

RomanBeauty 0

Friday 28 October 2011 15:52

Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.

Comments

Lidiya8lml 0

Friday 28 October 2011 16:33

Throwing out a pair of socks is not as bad as throwing away a $50 bill down the toilet or a cellphone. You can always replace socks easily.

DocBastard 38

Friday 28 October 2011 16:42

True, just like vomiting on your girlfriend during sex isn't as bad as thermonuclear war, but those vomit FMLs still make it on the site.

perdix 29

Friday 28 October 2011 17:27

Or giving $100 to a hobo who ends up purchasing depraved sexual acts from your mom.

Cmdr_Shepard 17

Friday 28 October 2011 16:43

Why didn't you just drop the toilet paper after wiping? Why didn't you just toss your socks aside instead of holding them in your hand when it's wet? Come on now...

je_suis_fml 11

Friday 28 October 2011 18:20

socks happen..

Amandabobmaxwell 4

Friday 28 October 2011 16:56

Blahblahblah..

perdix 29

Friday 28 October 2011 16:58

Here's my official entry to the contest: You threw the socks down the toilet and wrapped your feet in urine-soaked toilet paper. If this is the winning entry, please donate my prize money to the "Revive the Lambada" Foundation.