Health, Poopoo peepee and Weather: Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got...

By blabla - 28/10/2011 13:30 - Brazil

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 316

You deserved it 12 995

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 222

Soaking

By Dumbass - 19/11/2022 06:00

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 137

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 020

You deserved it 2 791

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 181

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 648

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 30 566

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 387

By Tp - 30/06/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 889

You deserved it 28 910

When nature calls…

By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 184

By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 328

You deserved it 26 732

Buttsexpirate 9

Friday 28 October 2011 15:50

Umm, umm, umm I can't do it! I just can't do it. Tell me please, the suspense is killing me!

RomanBeauty 0

Friday 28 October 2011 15:52

Why would you stand up before using toilet paper? Or- if it was used, why wouldnt you just toss it in right after you used it? Gross- either way.

Comments

emmagillespie24 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 16:55

I'm betting on the toilet paper- am I right?

hottiewitdamesse 8

Sunday 26 August 2012 5:29

how the hell is this even an FML. ?! boohoo, you have dirty toilet paper in you hand. the world is gonna end!

moemoney8888 7

Monday 8 October 2012 15:46

Just some socks this shouldn't even be an FML, really not a big deal

K410 18

Monday 13 May 2013 6:39

Those socks probably smelled anyway :p

SuprGingr3 4

Tuesday 3 December 2013 7:33

Did you put the used toilet paper on your feet!? =P

mixedmessages 5

Monday 23 December 2013 6:08

Which one did you try putting on your feet?

fmlsams 27

Thursday 20 August 2015 15:01

Who stands up after peeing with the toilet paper in their hand? That's just nasty.

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The Top

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Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

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