By mfischer - 16/11/2012 09:40 - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 793
You deserved it 5 489

mfischer tells us more.

mfischer 17

I was wearing regular jeans. I do occasionally wear skinny jeans, but nothing like this ever happened.

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Top comments

perdix 29

Three strikes, no balls . . . you're out!

268 13

Comments

OldMemoriesFade 8

Must love having a girlfriend, especially when she sits on your lap

5 16
OldMemoriesFade 8

Jealous of what? Getting my balls crushed? Uh no. Sitting on a guy? No, if I wanted to sit on a guy I could sit on my boyfriend.

2 15
TheMathMajor 26

I'm just teasing you, jeez. Relax a little

8 1
accioshannon 17

You could be jealous of having a penis, though.

3 1
OldMemoriesFade 8

Lol, I know you were, and because I've always wanted a penis of my own...lmao

1 8
newbiehere99 6

You want a penis of your own? Here's some options: 1. Buy a ***** 2. Cut off a dead mans penis 3. Buy a strap on 4. Go to the iTunes App Store ... I'm pretty sure there's a penis app. Since there's an app for just about everything.

6 0
OldMemoriesFade 8

It was sarcasm, I like being female, I don't want a penis.

1 8
qwillis98 20

Lol 11 just stop while your only so far behind.

4 2
Carmstro 13

If it's that obvious then why did you keep going...

6 1
Warden1986 16

#125 because most but not all females, have to have the last word.

0 1
mfischer 17

I'm OP and I get the last word! Huzzah!

0 0
drkate25 30

The first time was an accident, the second time, your girlfriend should use her own chair in public, and the third time.. Damn you're accident prone

28 8
Miltonius 15

Boom! Nutshot! In all seriousness, though, it hurts just to imagine the scenario.

6 2
astralvagan 20

Damn, that's nuts man! I hope the boys get to feeling better.

3 5
perdix 29

Someone's subconsciously saying, "Nuts to procreation!"

11 7
laxter14 3

My lord have mercy on your soul!

2 1
Kitsi 14

Tell your girlfriend to kiss the boo boo

16 4