Animals: Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to...

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 5 238

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 726

You deserved it 13 576

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 178

You deserved it 4 027

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 12 473

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

Freakout

By emmey - 23/07/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 918

You deserved it 44 882

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 180

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Seegtease 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

Spider got some ACTION before it died.

FBIWarning 0

Monday 20 April 2009 9:47

At least you killed it :)

Comments

Tehalon 0

Monday 20 April 2009 12:03

Im missing the "this is the most action i had all year" :(

lazylacey 0

Monday 20 April 2009 12:05

hahahaha #24 that's so creepy though once when I was in school. I had a small black spider crawl up my back I thought it was just an itch so when I scratched it I realized it wasn't and had the dead spider in my hand. so gross.

f_mylife24 0

Monday 20 April 2009 12:26

Spider vag(ina) spider vag does whatever a spider vag can =P

deathbybutterfly 0

Monday 20 April 2009 13:13

do you leave your underwear all over the floor so things like spiders can crawl and hide in them??

carliexobon 0

Monday 20 April 2009 13:49

omg ew that is so gross, i hate spiders. lucky for you it didn't plant and lay any eggs or anything. lol well.. hopefully :D

iluvuxinfinityn1 0

Monday 20 April 2009 13:51

oh my god that's horrible.

xandyx33 0

Monday 20 April 2009 14:07

at least the spider didn't die a virgin.

Sakeyaki 0

Monday 20 April 2009 14:23

Well, look at the bright side--at least it got some pleasure before it died. But seriously, how can you NOT feel it?

danielleFML 0

Monday 20 April 2009 14:51

oh god i feel your pain. that's so gross.

p0lkadot 0

Monday 20 April 2009 14:57

this happened to me once - with a cockroach. and it was still alive. you don't notice it crawling up your leg because it never did, it crawled into your underwear before you put them on and didn't look and see it.