Health: Today, I saw an old high school friend I haven't seen in years...

By taz - 05/10/2018 15:30

Today, I saw an old high school friend I haven't seen in years and decided to sneak up to surprise him. In the last 15 years he became a soldier and a Muay Thai martial artist. My arm is numb and I think I may be peeing blood. Never sneak up behind a soldier. It really hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 3 188

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Same thing different taste

Adieu

By Pain - 24/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I saw an old friend while out and about. Since I don't leave the house very often, my friend was surprised to see me in person. He jokingly asked if someone was dying, and I cried in response. I was in fact going to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 127

Run for the hills!

By kringr - 06/06/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 252

You deserved it 135 187

By itwasajoke - 25/12/2016 21:23

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 441

You deserved it 2 368

By Cùchulainn - 10/01/2009 03:23 - France

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 9 534

Freaked out

By No Action Fighter - 22/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 210

You deserved it 3 433

By Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina - 01/06/2013 04:31 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 239

You deserved it 5 273

By only1bigdogme - 03/09/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 53 237

By MarBlu - 23/01/2014 12:53 - United States

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 631

You deserved it 16 454

By Tuffgunsmoke - 04/02/2010 07:22 - France

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 755

You deserved it 31 554

Never do this

By anon - 06/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Danbury

Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 752

adcf04619 8

Friday 5 October 2018 16:24

dude are you friends with the punisher?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 5 October 2018 16:53

"Thank you for your service. I'm less appreciative of the body slam, however."

Comments

adcf04619 8

Friday 5 October 2018 16:24

dude are you friends with the punisher?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 5 October 2018 16:53

"Thank you for your service. I'm less appreciative of the body slam, however."

IrieStorm 9

Friday 5 October 2018 20:23

I would suggest not sneaking up on anyone you're not really close with. You never know how they might react.

acmariner99 25

Saturday 6 October 2018 2:57

I already knew that, but thanks for the tip,

Charlie Given 26

Saturday 6 October 2018 5:52

yeah I made that mistake when I was a teenager going to wake my Vietnam vet uncle and he grabbed me by the throat and threw me across the room and I started screaming it's me Charlie that really didn't help his CPTSD flashback he was having got my ass kicked by a guy half my weight &size and I was a trained fighter 😕