Love: Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had...

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 443

You deserved it 6 298

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Same thing different taste

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 10 164

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 370

You deserved it 3 512

How very dare you!

By mrniceguy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 707

You deserved it 2 540

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 564

You deserved it 7 878

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 682

You deserved it 9 522

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 459

You deserved it 4 168

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 289

You deserved it 3 005

By hickey - 05/02/2010 10:35 - United States

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 951

You deserved it 62 394

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 363

You deserved it 3 264

camsterjoe 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:53

Didn't know they lasted so long....

Han1156 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 1:05

Whoosh. Right over your head

Comments

MisterEx 28

Wednesday 3 July 2013 3:36

OP's gf: but the one who gave me that hickey is a 3some material hot girl OP, now what?

kelsicanreed 13

Wednesday 3 July 2013 4:27

thanks Obama.

YeahYeahYeahOK 6

Wednesday 3 July 2013 12:11

At least you weren't married with a couple of kids when you find fresh hickey... Been there. She didn't have an excuse. It happened at work and still had bite marks around it.

brittyboo123 35

Wednesday 3 July 2013 13:32

Did she burn herself with her straightener?

soapmactavish82 8

Thursday 4 July 2013 4:26

Since hickeys last about two weeks I'm really sorry...it's probably your best friend, or your dad

jollypackman 5

Thursday 4 July 2013 7:21

Don't be stupid that could of come from lots of things, and that isn't even that bad

samanthasammi 4

Thursday 4 July 2013 7:24

I actually burned myself with a curling iron and it looks like a hickey. I have had it for 4 months. Permanent hickey

aimzskee 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 13:09

Was she playing with the vacuum again?

cmo333 10

Tuesday 18 November 2014 4:47

It could be a bruise...

GAeroNKissR 26

Tuesday 10 November 2015 5:57

that must be some powerful phone sex!

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 580

You deserved it 15 091

Today, in an effort to save money, I dyed my hair at home. I used the wrong shade, or brand, or maybe I shouldn’t have bought a cheap one, but now I look like a mutant traffic cone. My boss asked if I was “expressing myself” or “just having a midlife crisis.” I can’t afford to fix it, so I’m stuck like this for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 418

The Top

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 7 025

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 101

You deserved it 4 433

Today, I decided to take a relaxing bubble bath in my jacuzzi. I poured in the bubbles, turned on the jets, and got in. I realized too late that the jets had caused the bubbles to overflow and had made a huge mess in my bathroom. Relaxing, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 138

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 090

You deserved it 6 483

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip this weekend so that she won't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 886

You deserved it 1 167

Today, I've reached the point in my life where the "Apply to affected area" label on acne cream essentially means I need to take a bath in the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 909

You deserved it 2 002

Same thing different taste

Dominion

How very dare you!

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