Love: Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 436

You deserved it 6 294

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Same thing different taste

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 10 161

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 367

You deserved it 3 511

How very dare you!

By mrniceguy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 689

You deserved it 2 538

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 559

You deserved it 7 876

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 452

You deserved it 4 167

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By hickey - 05/02/2010 10:35 - United States

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 62 384

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

Next

Top comments

camsterjoe 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:53

Didn't know they lasted so long....

Han1156 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 1:05

Whoosh. Right over your head

Comments

amifaiyaz 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 7:52

This fml is missing an 'ex '.

tyler_mcdolan 10

Tuesday 2 July 2013 8:30

What was her excuse? Did she get hit by a ball? Whatever it was it must have been pretty funny. FYL OP

bellidona 15

Tuesday 2 July 2013 8:50

How the hell did my 2 year old kicking me in the vag and then taking my brownie not get accepted but this none funny crap did ! -.-

Vegeto30294 19

Tuesday 2 July 2013 9:36

Complaining doesn't make anything better. Accept it and move on. Also considering you have "0 out of 0 posted"...

SleepWalken 5

Tuesday 2 July 2013 10:45

I'm sure it's just ski-rash

dangousity 21

Tuesday 2 July 2013 12:59

Not your girl no more George

lina_bean 5

Tuesday 2 July 2013 14:48

Test?

TiffGreen 11

Tuesday 2 July 2013 16:20

Eww! What a B! she could have tried to cover it up or at least told you she was with someone else prior to you being excited to seeing her after so long...

afallingstar 22

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:08

Hickeys are disgusting. They make you look trashy...and who outside of high school does that?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 2 July 2013 19:55

Well that relationship is over...

CrystalFelix 13

Wednesday 3 July 2013 1:44

That's tough to deal with. Hang in there... the right girl will come along! Be strong. Everything happens for a reason whether we like it or not.

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 434

You deserved it 10 095

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 487

You deserved it 32 228

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are, but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 819

You deserved it 4 149

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 275

You deserved it 6 081

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 787

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 929

You deserved it 2 172

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 617

You deserved it 3 084