Kids: Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He... - FML

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 1 196

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 3 668

By clean - 16/09/2013 07:51 - Australia - Ashfield

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 170

You deserved it 4 294

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 896

You deserved it 474

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 971

By savanah_aaron - 31/03/2017 20:00

Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 723

By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 205

You deserved it 5 500

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 076

You deserved it 492

By Gahh... - 03/12/2012 05:18 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 036

You deserved it 2 960

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 556

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 2 893

Next

Top comments

MessedUpLife00 13

Monday 17 October 2016 3:02

New all natural floss! Get it now! Only $2.99 per container!

tmj25789 23

Monday 17 October 2016 3:05

Well the plus side is he got protein from the earthworm.

Comments

MessedUpLife00 13

Monday 17 October 2016 3:02

New all natural floss! Get it now! Only $2.99 per container!

stayydomii 21

Monday 17 October 2016 3:03

Prepare for the many gross things kids will do. This is one of the many. I know personally I've done many questionable things like eat dog food, play and collect worms, bug eating contest with friends, etc. Hopefully this doesn't become a habit for your little one, but don't be surprised at all the nasty shit they will do from birth to childhood.

Lalala579121 27

Monday 17 October 2016 4:04

I've learned from this website that it often isn't limited to just childhood.

JustinJK 21

Monday 17 October 2016 6:10

Yeah I've done many of those things as an adult. although inebriation was a part of it too

tmj25789 23

Monday 17 October 2016 3:05

Well the plus side is he got protein from the earthworm.

MisterKnowItAll 15

Monday 17 October 2016 3:07

Well ain't that disgusting.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 October 2016 3:15

If he can floss with an earthworm, his smile must look like a jack-o'-lantern's!

cheeology 22

Monday 17 October 2016 5:03

or like that one scene in the Grinch with the termites in his teeth!!!

mermaidkeels 26

Monday 17 October 2016 3:18

A snack and a floss all in one!

FalloutScrolls 25

Monday 17 October 2016 3:26

Bear Grylls better watch out. We have a prodigy in the making.

limegreenpoopie 31

Monday 17 October 2016 4:00

He's just an innovator :3

Dark_Cecilia 20

Monday 17 October 2016 4:42

But the worm's far too thick...

mattyiscool123 26

Monday 17 October 2016 4:59

Looks like a new life hack

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Lonely Halloween Wanker Jealousy Love Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute Work AITA

The Top

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 4 811

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

The Top

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 845

You deserved it 51 118

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 3 773

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 2 858

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 310

You deserved it 6 453

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 3 529

Today, after a 16-hour day fixing the computer network at my workplace, I didn't even get a "Thank you". I did, however, get people whining about how, "That computer crap never works" and, "Why do we need IT anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 82