Kids: Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list....

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By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:45 - United States - Miami

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 028

You deserved it 4 244

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Same thing different taste

By So little trust. - 12/07/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 467

You deserved it 7 664

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 292

By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 509

You deserved it 3 725

By xBubbles38 - 18/07/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 965

You deserved it 6 280

By father of the year - 01/08/2013 06:21 - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 486

You deserved it 11 878

By Tweenmom - 13/04/2017 16:00

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 739

You deserved it 552

By Mike - 28/02/2019 02:00

Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 262

You deserved it 532

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 8 607

I'll make my own way

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 1 457

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 07:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 356

You deserved it 3 841

rekege 18

Friday 5 October 2012 9:11

She can't be saved...

tialeanne 19

Friday 5 October 2012 9:12

At least it's on her "To Do" list and not her "Already Completed" list...

Comments

UniqueBeauty333 0

Sunday 7 October 2012 4:27

She probably did it...o.o

ZombifiedGamer 0

Sunday 7 October 2012 7:23

let her.

Techtacular 0

Sunday 7 October 2012 9:59

Survival of the fittest.

sugoine 12

Sunday 7 October 2012 18:27

Let her. One less moron in the gene pool strengthens the hopes that Twilight fans will all die out...

Hypertraxx 5

Monday 8 October 2012 8:25

You fail as a parent.

socceralexz 2

Tuesday 9 October 2012 4:15

If she ever comes home in a body cast, then at least you'll know why:)

dotnix 1

Tuesday 9 October 2012 14:05

Please, do not interfere with Natural Selection.

bleedingangel666 0

Wednesday 10 October 2012 3:49

Still a better love story than twilight

waynesmedley92 2

Wednesday 10 October 2012 4:07

What a dumbass. She's too far gone to be saved. Check her into the psych-ward

BairaiF 0

Tuesday 13 November 2012 0:45

You raised her

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Same thing different taste

Logic 101

I'll make my own way

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