Kids: Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list....

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:45 - United States - Miami

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 021

You deserved it 4 241

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Same thing different taste

By So little trust. - 12/07/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 461

You deserved it 7 662

Logic 101

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 17:01 - Canada

Today, my 17-year-old daughter didn't do the laundry. Her excuse? "If it was meant to be done, it would have done itself." This is the same daughter who yesterday tried convincing me she was responsible enough to get a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 289

By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 507

You deserved it 3 722

By xBubbles38 - 18/07/2011 15:17 - United States

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 959

You deserved it 6 278

By father of the year - 01/08/2013 06:21 - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 481

You deserved it 11 876

By Tweenmom - 13/04/2017 16:00

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 738

You deserved it 549

By Mike - 28/02/2019 02:00

Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 257

You deserved it 531

By garage - 27/01/2010 06:21 - France

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 8 605

I'll make my own way

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 434

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 07:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 350

You deserved it 3 839

rekege 18

Friday 5 October 2012 9:11

She can't be saved...

tialeanne 19

Friday 5 October 2012 9:12

At least it's on her "To Do" list and not her "Already Completed" list...

Comments

roninvamp 4

Friday 5 October 2012 16:35

your kid is destined for the Darwin Awards, I'm sorry

xoxo_jackie 5

Friday 5 October 2012 16:36

Your daughter needs help.

mosquito19 14

Friday 5 October 2012 16:41

you should do her the honer by pushing her into the traffic.

NicoleAshley10 0

Friday 5 October 2012 17:22

look what these Twilight movies did to these kids head. I'm glad that the last one is coming out next month.

onorexveritas 23

Friday 5 October 2012 17:50

LMAO!!!!!!

theburninator 1

Friday 5 October 2012 18:00

Maybe just let her do it. Natural selection works wonders you know.

mgates27 3

Friday 5 October 2012 18:06

Darwin award candidate

dolphins_penny 5

Friday 5 October 2012 18:57

and natural selection will get rid of the stupid ppl.....as told by this "to do" list

HOPPE612 5

Friday 5 October 2012 19:56

what a lazy B****

livvittupp 0

Friday 5 October 2012 20:12

At least she's focused on twilight and not booze and sex

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Same thing different taste

Logic 101

I'll make my own way

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