Health: Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it...

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 262

You deserved it 32 004

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Same thing different taste

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 14 265

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 231

You deserved it 41 630

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 203

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 743

You deserved it 30 892

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 879

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 46 726

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 465

By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 463

You deserved it 44 412

By romea244 - 14/08/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 661

You deserved it 27 075

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 327

Miss_Kristen 10

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:27

Why would you kill it with your bare hands?!

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:30

How does someone mistake a sharp pointed object with an 8 legged arachnid. You are not the sharpest tool in the shed, although a hammer might have been nice.

Comments

lajaynay 15

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:47

Please stop defending your stupidity. You're making it worse.

castrosabeast 7

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:48

I'm confused! Jesus is Canadian? What a hoser!

teresa96706 29

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:50

XD read midnight's profile. She herself live in the US and calls herself "intelligent" *sarcastic* I like her IQ

cBlackout 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:53

Poke with a stick?

lajaynay 15

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:53

Ironic, right? Haha. She's also "witty" and yet I've seen very little wit in her replies.

marpay 11

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:56

I slam them with shoes. Must squish spiders to protect the world!

Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:57

1- That was the first thing I thought after reading this!

lajaynay 15

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:58

I admit to doing that too. Or, if outside, I set the bitches on fire.

victoria114 6

Friday 18 May 2012 20:47

Sure you do...

Joshoa123 16

Tuesday 27 September 2011 9:01

Friendly neighborhood spidernail.

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 27 September 2011 9:03

I do what OP does occasionally, but only against flies and spiders (no better feeling than punching a fly on the wall so powerfully it drops dead to the floor as soon as your fist leaves the wall, but so skillfully that its still fully intact and not smashed at all). Obviously I wash my hands afterward, and I first make sure that the thing is an ACTUAL ******* MOVING INSECT OR ARACHNID!