Health: Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste...

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 4 018

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Same thing different taste

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 132

You deserved it 399

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 568

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 994

You deserved it 6 332

By Anon - 17/02/2012 20:43 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 2 096

By Walter_Sobchak7 - 12/08/2017 01:30

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 573

You deserved it 339

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 4 788

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 12:04 - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 212

You deserved it 6 903

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 859

You deserved it 8 372

Would I lie to you?

By sarika - 24/07/2015 00:12 - United States - Appleton

Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 2 386

lwdjaymac 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:53

Use your other eye :)

donteatglue1 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:55

Then how are you writing this?

Comments

rottentomatoes 7

Monday 18 July 2011 1:01

" i haven't been able to see for two hours. " doesn't that mean that you still couldn't see while posting the FML?

Zackerypeter33 0

Wednesday 9 November 2011 15:18

He said eye..not eyes

clutz123 5

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:41

...i'm sorry, but you should probably get that checked out by a doctor. ignore these annoying haters tho, it's totally understandable...

Zoey5683 17

Saturday 8 December 2012 6:50

Reading this made my eye twitch with pain...

zawesomee 14

Monday 3 June 2013 1:37

Sneezing with your eyes open is not possible. :)

Dslayr 4

Wednesday 5 March 2014 4:35

At least your eye is clean now

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 643

You deserved it 29 279

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 970

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 058

You deserved it 1 607

Today, my boyfriend wanted to get into an open relationship. He has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but he didn't want to separate from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 153

You deserved it 1 379

Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 355

You deserved it 1 680

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 918

You deserved it 35 963

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 10 321

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 693

You deserved it 38 584

Same thing different taste

Ouch

Would I lie to you?

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