Kids: Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for...

By Heartbroken - 20/06/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I spent 2 hours making the perfect card for my dad for Father's Day. When I handed it to him, he smiled and said "Thank you" and then killed a fly with it. I found it in the trash a couple of hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 372

You deserved it 4 309

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Same thing different taste

By I keep failing it all - 02/06/2013 19:45 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 934

You deserved it 3 951

Wasps, what the **** do they want?

By Owie - 23/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 221

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:58 - United States

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 705

You deserved it 3 163

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 03:29 - United States

Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 374

You deserved it 2 651

By hc11bmd - 19/06/2012 17:20 - United States - Bethel

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 475

You deserved it 55 165

Yummy

By munckncruncj15 - 22/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 36 947

By astraboy - 21/05/2009 09:11 - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 190

You deserved it 8 531

By flustered - 06/05/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 580

You deserved it 4 785

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 120

You deserved it 30 390

89_Sparkly 7

Monday 20 June 2011 8:34

that's so mean!!

YacL 15

Monday 20 June 2011 8:36

I bet if it had a naked chick on it he wouldn't have thrown it away, mind you it'd probably be really awkward.

Comments

allthatremains25 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 6:47

aw! look on the brightside, atleast he got some use outta it.

KEEdollarsignHA 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 8:10

guess it's not the perfect card

life_lol 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 14:35

dumb ass cards are a no good.

kitten1323 19

Tuesday 21 June 2011 19:23

Its dads like this that makes it easier for me to deal with the fact that my sperm donor of a father left after he cheated on my mom when I was 2

Alex213 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 0:10

maybe he knows your not his real kid

kitten1323 19

Wednesday 22 June 2011 0:46

Oh I'm his real kid. Trust me, I look just like him

bh173 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 5:48

your father is a p r I c k.

ravenmarie1995 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 13:07

my dad didnt even read his card. he just opened it up and asked my sisters and i where the money was.

julialoves0521 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:19

thats sweat....

julialoves0521 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 2:24

shuda got him a fly swater at least he wudnt through it away.

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The Top

Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 581

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 5 958

The Top

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 428

You deserved it 3 084

Today, in an effort to be more active, I jumped out of bed ready for a morning jog. Or, that was the plan. Instead, I twisted my knee so badly standing up, it's now locked, and I can't move it. So much for activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 940

You deserved it 1 336

Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 254

You deserved it 40 142

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 93

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 061

Today, I got t-boned while on my way represent myself in a deposition for a lawsuit I filed against my neighbor. The other driver was my neighbor's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 103

Same thing different taste

Wasps, what the **** do they want?

Yummy

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