Animals: Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind.... - FML

By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 608

You deserved it 43 978

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Same thing different taste

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 19 096

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 260

You deserved it 31 998

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 704

You deserved it 15 126

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 69

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 286

You deserved it 14 262

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 119

You deserved it 4 989

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 456

You deserved it 46 719

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 741

You deserved it 30 883

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 167

You deserved it 4 025

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 179

Next

Top comments

rhodium 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:12

Even wizards need to mutter a spell, you know...

Anteezy 7

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:15

FYL for not having supernatural powers.

Comments

Ferreiro 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:37

The force is weak in you, my young padawan Why the F would you want to try to kill a spider with your mind xD

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:44

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!

patticake1601 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:46

FML for having to read this crap today

cornsnake 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:46

the men who stared at goats couldn't do it and you have a lesser chance if possible. try to kill it with something you do have.

Mirandy 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:47

Wtf? Haha, you're bored...

silbern 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:52

YDI for being retarded

musicislife1995_fml 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:54

lol how awesome :) I can imagine what your reaction would be if it worked

NSZ 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:55

I officially love you, I'd ask you to marry me but im really not into the whole woman/woman thing. Shame, isnt it?

polico_wolf 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:38

you and your Soul. Mate. could still get married in your waldo shaped fort while wearing harry potter snuggies with your awesome family. It would be the Best. Day. Ever. for you and the quiet kid who says "thats what she said" without skipping a beat.

loat 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:59

This is amazing, not bad.

Mentalmarshall 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:00

Did it work?

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The Top

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 314

You deserved it 4 676

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

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You deserved it 187

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 45 343

You deserved it 24 741

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I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 1 909

Today, I finally watched Everything Everywhere All at Once. All it did was make me feel deeply depressed, because I know I'm such an exceptional loser that I don't deserve for anyone to care about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 216

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 498

You deserved it 6 072

Today, my sculpture, which is very important for my art grade, fell from my desk and broke to pieces. My art teacher suggested I soak the parts in water to make it easier to stick them back together. They dissolved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 3 591

Today, I found out that the guy I met off of Bumble, and have been seeing for the past few weeks, went to jail in 2020 for kidnapping a girl he met off Tinder. I would've be on a date with him right now had I not decided to Google him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 181