Animals: Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind....

By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 608

You deserved it 43 978

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Same thing different taste

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 19 096

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 260

You deserved it 31 998

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 704

You deserved it 15 126

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 69

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 286

You deserved it 14 262

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 118

You deserved it 4 989

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 456

You deserved it 46 719

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 741

You deserved it 30 883

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 167

You deserved it 4 025

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 3 179

rhodium 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:12

Even wizards need to mutter a spell, you know...

Anteezy 7

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:15

FYL for not having supernatural powers.

Comments

hunter989 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:00

this is a mlia not an fml lol

turnedoffTVgrey 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:00

Most retarded thing ever.

blackseminarian 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:01

Hilarious!

blastvortex 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:01

That's because that's not the Force you're feeling - it's constipation, especially of the mental variety.

xxreikoxx 31

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:02

The FML staff must have been pretty close to falling to the ground in absolute hysterics when they let this one get published. Either that, or they felt bad for the OP's stupidity. OP, what are you, blonde?

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:20

In Soviet Russia, Queen Spider stomps you. Yes, I know you said Spider Queen, but it's more authoritative when a royal title is mentioned first (like my username).