Animals: Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind....

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By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 609

You deserved it 43 989

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Same thing different taste

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 19 102

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 264

You deserved it 32 012

By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 712

You deserved it 15 133

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 72

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 293

You deserved it 14 266

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 125

You deserved it 4 989

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 46 729

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 745

You deserved it 30 895

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 183

You deserved it 4 031

By eebie jeebies - 30/05/2016 15:31 - United States - Cypress

Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 487

You deserved it 3 185

rhodium 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:12

Even wizards need to mutter a spell, you know...

Anteezy 7

Thursday 17 December 2009 16:15

FYL for not having supernatural powers.

Comments

xxreikoxx 31

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:57

Ugh...you idiots followed me to this lame FML.

moogie0221 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 17:57

Is this Tom Cruise ? Scientology is odd

bandaidonfinger 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 18:27

Not FML, MLIA.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 18:29

First off, we are not on the bridge overlapping the Gorge of Eternal Peril, so I can safely say that I don't the answer to that ques... WAAAAAAH!! (launches about 30 feet into the air and hits the ground with a loud thud).

AntiChrist7 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 18:32

Could you from now try to kill yourself with your mind?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 18:35

I use my mind to kill spiders all the time... it helps me raise my stomping foot.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:09

"All of you in the room who can use telekinesis, raise my right right."

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:14

edit: was supposed to say, "...right hand." I need more coke...

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:30

Did it go up yet? I'm working on it.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:41

I'm currently looking at pictures of two camels going at it, so yeah, it went up...

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:48

Well, then how did this video of wrestling midgets get across my screen? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ora35AzLxt0

myk_fml 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 18:46

**** you guys why you have to kill spiders? just leave your windows open for 10 min and they'll go away!!

polico_wolf 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:41

I kill them because I have aracniphobia. With my very... very... long pole...

vmimo 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:15

How'd it go... F spiders

Rebeccasaurus 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:32

Use the force my girl, use the power of the force

zoeeeeee 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:35

wow thats all i can say wow

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I agree, your life sucks 19 986

You deserved it 57 791

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I agree, your life sucks 34 484

You deserved it 9 826

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 775

You deserved it 2 879

Today, it's been awhile since I've had decent sex. I was "in the mood" after being sick for two weeks, so I pulled out my little "bedroom friend." Right on the verge of a really big O, I spotted a giant spider about 3 ft over my head, which completely killed my lady boner. Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 189

Today, my boyfriend blew half of the money we'd saved for a vacation on a fancy new camera. His reasoning? "Loads of YouTubers are quitting YouTube, there's money to be made." FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 89

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 211

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 786

You deserved it 3 236

Same thing different taste

Freaked

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