Intimacy: Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 23:02 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 731

You deserved it 4 042

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By joe - 23/06/2013 23:36 - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 695

You deserved it 8 615

By :( - 02/03/2010 00:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 2 451

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 418

By love4cheese1197 - 02/08/2019 20:00

Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 245

Signposting

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 05:40 - United States - Latonia

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 2 494

You OK, bro?

By Dante - 21/05/2024 19:00 - Portugal - Povoa de Santa Iria

Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 110

By explainer - 08/11/2011 17:54 - South Africa

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 285

You deserved it 7 464

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 457

You deserved it 3 415

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 515

You deserved it 7 055

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Username - 17/07/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 754

You deserved it 4 861

HortonThelephant 15

Monday 17 December 2012 2:07

Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..

idealTHC 7

Monday 17 December 2012 2:08

Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.

Comments

noremac5 4

Monday 17 December 2012 14:50

Going commando. Nuff said.

newmandotcom 6

Monday 17 December 2012 15:13

I don't have to. It may be short but at least it's not thick.....

18ieronimo 4

Monday 17 December 2012 16:27

Yes I do!!!!

Patrick1904 4

Monday 17 December 2012 16:56

It's called BDS- baby dick syndrome

kwyk 23

Tuesday 18 December 2012 1:54

I'm too lazy to tie my down so I just tuck it into my sock instead.

dpolk23 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:10

I just let mine loose. Frolick in the wind if you must! Lol

Faine 2

Tuesday 18 December 2012 4:25

But we do.

SK_Marker 6

Tuesday 18 December 2012 15:22

What? They have! Haha what a legend made my day, good luck Op!

NirotJ 2

Wednesday 19 December 2012 0:50

I hope for god you two didn't use visual aids, otherwise that would be getting more than creepy...

dawghouse7 6

Wednesday 19 December 2012 9:06

I do

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 100

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 4 498

The Top

Today, at work, it was so windy that it started taking the door off its hinges. The door now won't close all the way. I can't leave until someone comes to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 735

You deserved it 360

Today, I discovered that my husband doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet. Too bad I got to found out after three years of marriage, and while his finger was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 195

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 363

You deserved it 6 649

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 374

You deserved it 5 280

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 872

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 260

You deserved it 9 185