Intimacy: Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 23:02 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 738

You deserved it 4 043

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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The big reveal

By joe - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 098

You deserved it 8 765

By :( - 02/03/2010 00:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 458

You deserved it 2 452

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 420

By love4cheese1197 - 02/08/2019 20:00

Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 247

Signposting

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 05:40 - United States - Latonia

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 669

You deserved it 2 496

You OK, bro?

By Dante - 21/05/2024 19:00 - Portugal - Povoa de Santa Iria

Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 115

By explainer - 08/11/2011 17:54 - South Africa

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 297

You deserved it 7 465

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 462

You deserved it 3 418

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 519

You deserved it 7 060

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Username - 17/07/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 758

You deserved it 4 866

HortonThelephant 15

Monday 17 December 2012 2:07

Well not EVERY guy is hung like an elephant, BUT..

idealTHC 7

Monday 17 December 2012 2:08

Well... I know if I dont tie it down I would come home with red marks all across my chest.

Comments

evperry 2

Sunday 23 December 2012 5:00

ITS TRUE.

jcamps6 7

Thursday 3 January 2013 0:18

When it flops around I do...just too irritating to deal with it all the time.

smc3107 9

Thursday 30 May 2013 21:10

I've got a slow sister, myself.. Lol

SleepWalken 5

Wednesday 3 July 2013 14:25

You don't !?!

SaintJimmyxx 8

Wednesday 17 July 2013 20:33

wait, they don't?

xclife123 1

Friday 11 October 2013 15:37

obviously you have never ran competitivily before

girI 20

Thursday 19 June 2014 7:31

Don't they? Or at least wear tight pants?

nenesniper 5

Wednesday 17 June 2015 14:13

how do u strap it down exactly?

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 175

You deserved it 5 663

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 27 154

The Top

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 898

You deserved it 2 472

Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 399

Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 284

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 381

You deserved it 3 283

Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML

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You deserved it 105

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 881

You deserved it 5 140