Intimacy: Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove...

By Anonymous - 31/08/2011 14:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 752

You deserved it 11 256

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By dumbass1991 - 12/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 137

You deserved it 121 831

By sasquatch - 08/09/2012 04:03 - United States - Katonah

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 763

You deserved it 33 658

By fmylifegirl - 29/12/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 211

You deserved it 3 897

By greeple - 10/09/2012 16:19 - Singapore

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 763

You deserved it 12 792

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 508

By tLee - 19/07/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 511

You deserved it 4 560

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 904

Twins

By rufusthepenis - 02/10/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 4 850

By needabettermirror - 14/12/2016 11:07 - United States - Holland

Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 064

You deserved it 2 992

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 901

You deserved it 5 205

aruam365 24

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

why the hell would you let anyone near your penis with a sharpie??

gojira666 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:05

So what...itll cum off eventually

Comments

iAmScrubs 19

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:50

Pierre will have his revenge tomorrow night. Your weapon will be used against you.

PolarBoy 9

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:54

Je ne suis pas français. Google Translate est mon ami!;D

Clubkicker_fml 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:50

She drew more hair on cause there was not enough.

Beebow_fml 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:40

Ya, not enough hair, on the head of his penis... This isn't a furry forum.

baconboy1998 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:51

well maybe you should markher in the face

Buzzy123 7

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:52

Artist's work.

TheLastChild 8

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:53

Honhonhon Je m'appelle Pierre. Voulez-vous couche avec moi?

DontModMeDammit 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:27

That makes perfect sense.

dragonforerunner 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:42

Yes.

glitterpoop 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:05

Google Translate at it's finest.

Emzixxx 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:31

No a true French speaker at her/his best!!!

funkyspacemonkey 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:48

Words with friends? FunkySpaceMonkey

decidedlyvague 11

Thursday 1 September 2011 8:23

I love you

miraggg 1

Friday 2 September 2011 12:52

Coucher*

alexiskimbrell 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:55

Ouch, talk about rubbing yourself raw! If only you two see it, why not just let it fade naturally? It should disappear within 3 to 4 washes. Your dick is ping to be tender.. Which means no sexy time.