Miscellaneous: Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned...

By halebop - 06/04/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 710

You deserved it 5 174

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By recordyear - 09/08/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 890

You deserved it 7 521

Empty nest

By AllieG33 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after returning from taking my sister off to college, my parents told me that our house would be a lot quieter with my sister gone. Not because she's loud, but because she has friends and I apparently don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 984

You deserved it 3 800

Teenage kicks

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 10:00 - Australia - Albany Creek

Today, I found out that ALL of my friends were in the same class and I was in a different one. They went away on camp, and I'm going to be alone for this whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 135

Helicopter parents

By that girl. - 06/06/2012 05:26 - United States

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 3 558

Time is money

By skipperpop - 11/08/2016 22:24 - United States - Ames

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 657

You deserved it 1 251

Priorities

By ill - 02/10/2009 17:18 - Canada

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that my school was "too expensive" and he "couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii; apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 3 620

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 3 043

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 937

You deserved it 1 259

Seems unlikely

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 22:01 - United States - Brookville

Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 172

Keeping it real

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 08:37 - Australia - Wilston

Today, I went to visit my dad for the first time in over a year, as I have been studying for my Master's degree in history halfway across the world. The first thing he said to me? "So, gotten a real job yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 744

You deserved it 3 320

briedis 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:24

It's better to have two close friends than 10 friends who later turn out to be assholes :)

Ib83 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:15

ummmmmmmmmmm sounds like he was just teasing. not really an FML

Comments

manderz581 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:09

haha thats a nice dad you have there. first!!

ffmmllyaya 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 2:07

two friends is plenty if they r good

JennyyBennyy 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:15

haha that is soo something my dad would say..

ZleveL 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 7:28

same but my dad said it in front of my friends rofl

Ib83 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:15

ummmmmmmmmmm sounds like he was just teasing. not really an FML

420hiadventurer 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:21

hahahahaha he's joking. Don't be so sensitive.

UnCensoredBitch 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:21

HAHAHA! BURN!

briedis 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:24

It's better to have two close friends than 10 friends who later turn out to be assholes :)

BadPinkKitty07 0

Friday 16 April 2010 6:36

I completely agree

Dr_Awesome654 24

Monday 8 August 2016 8:00

But it's not as good as having 10 close friends ( ಠ ͜ʖರೃ)

reset_button 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:26

I say FYL because you can't take a joke

BigLord 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:34

This probably is a FML because it was meant as a joke but the OP realized it's true :/ heh....

monzie94 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:36

LMAO. i agree with number 6

genius_man16 0

Monday 6 April 2009 16:46

#7 i saw that the OP deserves it for the same reason

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 125

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 341

You deserved it 3 784

The Top

Today, I called in sick at work and went to the bar, only to find out that my manager has a second job there. I am now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 8 635

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 623

You deserved it 4 069

Today, I realized that the woman I love, who is my best friend, deserves better than me at the nadir of my life. We're still just friends, but she's been a much better friend to me than I have been to her. It's time to disappear and fix myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 424

Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 707

You deserved it 485

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 090

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 149

You deserved it 39 590

Same thing different taste

Empty nest

Teenage kicks

Helicopter parents

Time is money

Priorities

Seems unlikely

Keeping it real

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